


Amnesia - A Test Of Friendship, Love, Loyalty & Faithfulness

by AoiTsuki1412



Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoiTsuki1412/pseuds/AoiTsuki1412
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lots of things had changed ever since Rin made Haruka his boyfriend. His life's is getting better and so is his family's. When a bad incident befalls Haruka, Rin just finally realized the fact that he doesn't really know much about him and he was taking Haruka's presence for granted. What kind of secrets will prevail ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first fanfiction. It's still ongoing in FF.net. I created this account on AO3 for quite a while, so I thought I should post here as well. :)

"Haru !", Rin shouted as he run toward a lifeless body that is laying on the ground a few meters from him, in the dark alley between the buildings. He gasped at the sight of Haruka in front of him as he came closer to the dark-haired man's body. Blood – there was a lot of blood on the ground, coming from the body in front of him. Part of Haruka's face was covered in blood that was oozing out from his head injury and as his eyes trailed down to Haruka's body, he could see some big dark bruises on his skin, cursing words carved on his body and some stab injuries. He crouched down in instant to check for his pulse and breathing. He felt a bit relieved as Haruka was still breathing even if it's too weak – at least he was still alive and there might be a chance for him to be saved. Rin felt sick of seeing the sight of Haru that he felt like vomiting but he hold back his feeling and try to figure out how to help him. First of all, he needs to calm down – he took deep breaths to stabilize his breathing for a few times.

Rin quickly called the police and ambulance, giving some details about the situation then crouched down beside Haruka as he waited for help to come. Rin took his time to scan the area, searching for Haruka's clothes. 'Wait… Why is he naked ? Could he had been…', Rin thought then checked Haruka's body carefully and to his fear, his thought was right. "Damn it ! Why should this happen to him !", he shouted. He moved his hand to caress Haruka's blood-stained cheek, his eyes staring at his lover's face. Haruka looked so fragile, as if even a single wrong touch from him will break him down further. "Haru… I'm sorry… It's all my fault…", he muttered under his breath, tears flowing out of his crimson eyes. He somehow could imagine Haruka's reaction if he was awake – he would say that it wasn't his fault and tell him to stop crying. Rin shook his head and hold himself from crying any longer. The most important thing now is to save Haruka so he collected all the clothes then wrapped some of them on his lover's body carefully. "Please be strong… I know you can make it… You have to…I need you…", he whispered to Haruka, hoping that his voice will reach him.

* * *

_"_ _I'm home !", Rin shouted from the front door. Haruka unlocked the door then hugged Rin tightly as Rin stepped into the house. "Welcome home, Rin", Haruka greeted with a smile, eyes sparkling as his eyes met Rin's. He then ran his fingers through Rin's hair, then down to his cheeks, caressing them gently._

_"_ _What's wrong, Haru ?", Rin asked, with a concerned tone._

_"_ _It's nothing, Rin… I just feel like I missed you a lot…", Haruka replied with a sad smile._

_"_ _Really ? I'm sorry… I was busy..."_

_"_ _Yeah…It's okay… I understand that… Now, let's eat. Dinner is getting cold.", Haruka said then grabbed Rin's arm, bringing him to the dining room. Rin's eyes widen as he enter the dining room. It was decorated beautifully, an elegant vase sat on the dining table with beautiful roses arranged in it perfectly, foods prepared professionally (as expected from a five-star chef) and the room was kept dim, only being lit up by a few candles. Rin was so touched to see Haruka's preparation for dinner tonight._

_"_ _H-haru… This is…"_

_"_ _It's romantic, right ?", Haruka said with a smile, a faint blush coloring his cheeks._

_"_ _What's all this for ?"_

_"_ _It's for your success of capturing the drug dealers. I saw the news. You've worked so hard for it, right ? You even didn't have your time for me…"_

_"_ _Thank you but the last sentence didn't sound like a compliment at all. I missed you too, you know…", Rin said then chuckled. He held Haruka closer to his chest, hugging him lovingly. It had been 3 days since he last spent his time with Haruka – he had spent his time more at the station or Sousuke's apartment to discuss some strategies to capture those persistent drug dealers. As Rin was going to kiss Haruka, a voice interrupted his hearing._

_"_ _Rin-chan… Rin-chan… Rin-"_

"-chan… Rin-chan !", Nagisa shouted, resulting Rin to jolt a bit as he came back to the reality.

"Oh… it's just you, Nagisa… What are you doing here ?", Rin asked, rubbing his eyes, still feeling sleepy.

"Eh ? Didn't you ask us to come ? You said that something happened to Haru-chan."

Rin's eyes widen in shock as he realized that he was waiting for Haruka to come out from the emergency room. Rin slumped helplessly on the waiting bench as he knew that he couldn't really do anything during this time, other than praying for Haruka's safety. Makoto sat beside Rin as he saw him looking so down. "I don't know what happened but I'm sure that he'll be okay, Rin. He's strong and we know it.", Makoto said while hugging Rin, his hand caressing Rin's back to calm him. Rin couldn't hold his tears anymore, so he cried his heart out in Makoto's big and warm hug, ignoring the stares given by the passerby – call him a crybaby, he didn't even care about it by the time. His mind was full of Haruka – his smiles, his flushed face, his pouting face, his sulking face and even the sight of fragile, lifeless Haruka he just saw a few hours ago. He swore that he'll make sure the culprits got a deserved punishment for hurting his beloved Haruka.

Their wait for Haruka ended a few hours later as the doctor went out from the emergency room. He approached the waiting bench then asked, "Which one here is Matsuoka Rin ?" Rin let go of Makoto as he heard his name being called then hastily wiped his tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Their wait for Haruka ended a few hours later as the doctor went out from the emergency room. He approached the waiting bench then asked, "Which one here is Matsuoka Rin ?" Rin let go of Makoto as he heard his name being called then hastily wipes his tears.

"I-it's me… I'm Matsuoka Rin. How is he, doctor ?", Rin said shakily, his eyes are a bit swollen because of crying.

"Please calm down when I read out the patient's state he's in right now. The patient had severely lost his blood due to the injuries inflicted on him, mostly from the head and stabs injuries. He got 7 broken ribs, a small lung puncture, his right leg broken and his right shoulder was dislocated. Also, bear in mind that he might be suffering from amnesia due to the strong blow on his head and this might be or not be permanent. He might not wake up any time soon, given how weak he is right now."

"A-amnesia? No… Haru can't lose his memory… He can't… forget about me…", Rin said helplessly, tears threatening to flow out from his tears gland again.

"Calm down, Rin… At least he's still alive…", Makoto said, patting Rin's back.

"Umm… Doctor, can we visit him now ?", Nagisa asked.

"Yes, you all can. Please excuse me for now.", the doctor said then walked away.

* * *

The room was quiet since the moment they went in – no one was in the mood to talk about anything. Seeing Haruka this vulnerable on his special day was saddening. His usual flawless skin looked pale with dark bruises and cuts staining his skin. "Haru-chan…", Nagisa hugged Rei and cried – he had been holding his tears for quite a while before after he heard about Haruka's state from the doctor but he can no longer hold it as he saw him in person. Rei caressed Nagisa's hair, trying to sooth him but he couldn't even sooth himself. Nagisa's sadness and Haruka's state had affected him so he cried silently, burying his face on Nagisa's head, not wanting Nagisa to see him in such a state – he wanted to be strong for Nagisa so that he can rely more on him. Makoto hold Haruka's left hand, tightening his grip as he slowly letting his tears roll down his cheeks. "Haru… Please wake up…", he whispered. In the same time, Rin sat on the chair, staring at the floor as he couldn't bring his eyes to look at Haruka's face.

He somehow felt guilty for the incident. If only he didn't go to work that time, Haruka won't be in this this situation. Even if he went to work that time, if only he had came back home earlier, Haruka won't have to go out all alone and being attacked by them. If he had come later, Haruka might not be able to be saved. His heart ached every time he thought about the possibilities that might happen and it ached a lot more to he see Haruka in such a bad and cruel condition, lying unconscious on the bed, looking lifeless and pale. The silence of the room was deafening with only the heart monitor sound and light sobs filling the atmosphere. After a long moment of silence, Nagisa broke the silence as he told everyone that he has to go home. He approached the bed and caressed Haruka's hair. "Happy birthday, Haru-chan… We wish that you'll wake up and get better as soon as possible, right Rei-chan ?", Nagisa said; there's a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Of course we are. Haruka-senpai… It's hard for us, especially Rin-san to see you in this condition and it must be harder for you to be in this condition. Please wake up and get well soon.", Rei said.

"Well, Haru… I'm going home for today. I'll come another day to visit, okay ? Happy birthday…", said Makoto with a sad smile on his face.

After all of them excused themselves for the day, the room became quieter than before. Rin moved his chair closer to Haruka's bed, trying to take look at his face – he looked so serene that Rin become scared even more. He looked as if he won't wake up anymore. He slowly reached Haruka's right hand, gripping it a bit and brings his other hand to caress his head gently. The memory of them from that morning flooded in his mind.

* * *

 _"_ _Rin ! Can you stay at home for the whole day today ?", Haruka suddenly asked, staring at Rin with his puppy eyes._

 _"_ _H-Haru ? Since when did you learn that move, huh ?", Rin said while pinching Haruka's nose._

 _"_ _Nagisa said you'll do anything I want to if I did that… but it seems like it didn't work…", Haru pouted with a hard blush on his face. It was his first time doing that kind of thing and he did that just because he really wanted Rin to stay._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Haru. I still got a lot of work to do today. That move might work next time though.", Rin said with a grin on his face._

_"Can't you do it the other day ?", Haruka said with a sulking tone in his voice._

_"Uh... I promised Sousuke to do it with him today, Haru..."_

_"Pretty please ?", Haru tried his puppy eyes again._

_"Oh god... Haru ! You look so damn cute ! But I still can't though. Don't you have to go to work today ?", Rin said while putting on his uniform._

_"_ _No. I took a leave for today. I need a rest… I guess…", Haruka replied._

_Haruka let out a sigh then came closer to Rin, helping out with his uniform. It's not like Rin can't wear his uniform neatly on his own but Haruka loves helping him with his uniform, buttoning all the buttons on it and putting on Rin's badges on it. 'I really wanted you to stay for today though…', Haruka thought while buttoning Rin's uniform. As he done buttoning, he stepped away from Rin, judging his appearance until he felt satisfied of it. "Now, you're ready to go ! You look handsome enough to catch the hearts of a few girls along your way !", Haruka said with a satisfied tone. Rin chuckled as he heard Haruka's words and come closer to him. He gently caressed Haruka's cheeks then cupped them with both of his hands. "You might be right, Haru. But the only heart I wanted to catch is yours.", Rin said sweetly then kissed Haruka, their tongues collided with each other as he let Rin's tongue enter his mouth._

_"_   _Now y_ _our hair looks messy again…", Haruka said after he pulled away from the kiss._

 _"_ _I have your magical hands to make it neat, right ?",Rin grinned then hummed while waiting for Haruka to be done with grooming his hair._

 _"_ _Now get ready to work, officer ! Good luck in your mission !", Haruka said with a serious face._

 _"_ _Yes, sir ! I'll try to come back as soon as possible !", Rin said then chuckled. Haruka could be ridiculous at times – that was what he learnt since started living with him. Haruka accompanied Rin to the front door then gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before he went out for work, leaving Haruka all alone in the house feeling a bit disappointed._

* * *

No wonder Haruka had been persistent to persuade him to stay at home this morning – it was his birthday. Haruka might want to spend the whole day with him but he didn't even remember his lover's birthday since he was too busy with his work. Haruka had always spent the whole day of his birthday with Rin only since they started living together and friends' celebration would be held on the next day. That is a rule that Haruka made after being Rin's boyfriend. When they asked him about the sudden rule, his answer was simple – he wanted his special day celebrated with the most special person in his life.

"Haru… Happy birthday… I forgot your birthday… I'm sorry…", he muttered then took a deep breath to relax himself.

"Hey, Haru… Wake up… Let's have a celebration… Just you and me…"

Silence.

"Haru… Please wake up… I miss you…", Rin said, sobbing a bit. He knew that Haruka won't wake up that fast, given the condition he is having right now but the silence was killing him, torturing his minds with overflowing negative thoughts and flashbacks of his memories with Haruka.


	3. Chapter 3

_"_ _Hey, Rin… Rin… Wake up…", Haruka said while gently shaking Rin's body._

_"_ _Mhmm… Five more minutes…", Rin mumbled, pulling his blanket up to cover his face from the light ray coming from the lamp._

_"_ _You'll be late for work, Rin… Be a good boy and wake up now, would you ?"_

_"_ _Fine… I'll wake up now…", Rin said lazily, forcing himself to get up from the bed, then continued talking with a naughty grin on his face. "But you should give me a reward for that."_

_"_ _Reward ? Your breakfast is your reward so go prepare yourself for work right away."_

_"_ _Aww… Come on, Haru… Just a breakfast ? Can't you give me such a romantic reward sometimes ?", Rin pouted._

_"_ _Well… If you finish your work early today, I might give you that."_

_"_ _Okay then ! That's a promise ! Don't you dare breaking that promise !"_

_"_ _Fine with me…", Haruka smiled then walked out from the bedroom to prepare breakfast._

* * *

"That… was a dream ?", Rin mumbled as he woke up with pain in the back of his neck – he had fallen asleep with his head resting on the side of Haruka's bed while crying last night. He let out a groan while stretching his numb limbs. He took a look at his phone; it's 6 a.m. and he has to go to work. He wanted to take a leave but it wasn't like he could do anything if he stayed home, so he decided to work that day. He needed to find out who were the culprits behind that incident. Rin stood up and took a look at Haruka's face – he looked a bit better than yesterday. Rin noticed that he didn't move even a bit since last night. "You must feel really tired… After all that happened…", Rin said, the back of his hand gently caressed Haruka's bruised cheek. He sighed as he received no reaction from the other person. He knew that Haruka won't be able to respond to him, but he still wanted to talk to Haruka – not talking to him for the whole day felt weird to Rin. Even if he was too busy with his work, he would sometimes call Haruka to hear his voice and Haruka would listen and reply to him soothingly, even though all Rin always talk about were complains about his work and how he missed Haruka during the call. "Haru, I'm going to work for now… Stay safe and be strong, okay ?"

As Rin reached home, he unlocked the door and pushed the door open. "I'm home…", he muttered even though he knew that no one will reply to him. He walked in helplessly as memories of Haruka came flooding in his mind. Usually, Haruka will greet him with a hug or a kiss when he come back home but at that moment, there was none of it. He entered the kitchen, searching for something to eat for breakfast and found a meat pie on the table, wrapped neatly in a food wrapper with a note beside it.

* * *

Rin,

I made a meat pie for you. It's my first try so I don't know if I made it well. By the way, I'm going to the convenience store for a while so if you reached home first, please heat it in the microwave before you eat.

With love,

Haru

* * *

Rin didn't notice the food and note Haruka left on the table last night since he quickly went out to search for him after he found out that he was still outside an hour after his last message. Rin took the meat pie, removing the wrapper then checked if it's still edible. 'Thanks for the food, Haru.', Rin thought, putting the meat pie in the microwave. The house felt somewhat strange to Rin – it felt so empty and silent without Haruka in it. It wasn't like Haruka was noisy at home but the interactions between them were always there. When Rin thought about it, he had never stayed at home alone before. During the times when Haruka has to attend some improvement courses, parties or work overtime, Rin would spend his time at the police station like he always do, settling any work to be done then go to Sousuke's apartment or go out with his colleagues to kill his time. If Haruka's not going to come back home, then Rin wouldn't come back too.

'Did Haru felt the same when he was waiting for me to come back home ?', Rin thought as he realized that Haruka had always stayed home alone while waiting for him to come back - he had never thought of it before. He took out the meat pie from the microwave then put it on the table as he sat. As Rin brought a spoonful of the meat pie into his mouth, he munched it slowly as he suddenly felt like crying.

_"_ _How does it tastes, Rin ?"_

Haruka would ask that every time he asked Rin to taste his new cooking. He just loves trying to cook something different from his usual menu and sometimes changed the recipe a bit or come out with his own recipe since he started being a chef. "It tastes good, Haru…", Rin replied to no one, tears starting to form in his eyes, imagining Haruka's reaction upon hearing his words – he would look very happy with his eyes glittering like two pools of water being shone by the sunlight. He really loves it when Rin likes his cooking. Rin forced himself to finish his food fast as he needs to prepare himself for work.

_"It's okay, Rin. Leave the dishes on the table. I'll clean them._ _You have to go early today, right ?"_

Haruka's voice echoed in Rin's mind as he reached the sink, putting the plate, spoon, fork and mug he used for breakfast back then. "It's okay, Haru… I'll do it today…", Rin muttered while washing them. As he finished washing them, he made his way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower then went to his room to get ready for work. He sled open the wardrobe and took one of his uniforms, ready to be put on since Haruka usually irons his uniforms during his free times so that Rin wouldn't have to bother to iron his clothes before going to work. Rin was able to control his emotions until he put on his uniform top.

_"_ _Rin, let me help you with the uniform."_

Haruka's voice came to his mind again. His sight turned blurry as his tears formed in his eyes then finally flow down his cheeks. Usually, it was Haruka who would button his uniform top and pin his badge, giving him a kiss after that, then encourages him to do his work well before he goes to work. He really missed Haruka even though he was just being unconscious for a few hours ago - Rin couldn't imagine living without him. He felt very helpless and weak. Even so, Rin strengthen his heart and determination so that he can arrest those persons who hurt his precious Haruka. With his new determination, he stepped out of the house and went to police station to begin his investigation on Haruka's case.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... What am I writing ? ^^;

The police station was as busy as always when Rin arrived. He greeted all the officers he met along the way to his office as usual – he still holds on his principle that personal matters won't affect him at his workplace. A few officers who knew about the incident would give Rin their words of condolence and tell him to be patient about it. Rin just nodded and thanked them for their advice then continue walking to his office. As he opened the door, he saw Sousuke sitting at his desk as usual with his eyes focusing on the monitor. "Yo ! Sousuke !", Rin greeted. Sousuke only replied it with a short 'Yo !', his eyes still focusing on the screen. "What are you doing staring at a nude guy's pictures this early in the morning ?", Rin ask, taking a peek from Sousuke's back. Sousuke change his focus from the screen to Rin and replied, "Hell, yeah… These pictures are good. It's all thanks to your 'cute wife' that I have to take a look at these nude pictures of him. Hmm… I have to admit that he has quite a beautiful body." Sousuke zoomed out the picture and show the picture collections taken from last night's crime scene. Rin gave Sousuke a smack on his head, hearing his statement.

"Don't you dare keeping those pictures for your own collection !", Rin threatened.

"As if the higher-ups will let me do that. But seriously, Rin… He looks delicious."

"What ?!"

"You see… he's pretty small and I'm sure he's light. Thrusting him might be quite hard at first since his hole might be small and tight but you can always pull him towards you and forces your way in since he's light. Just imagine the friction… It must be satisfying.", Sousuke replied, grinning naughtily.

"Ugh… You look and sound creepy. I think you should stop talking about porn now, Officer Yamazaki."

"I'd pay for him if he's working at the gay bar. Well, Rin... You should let me taste him once, you know…", Sousuke said, still grinning.

"Tch ! Like hell I'm going to let you ! He's mine and will always be mine. The only one who can touch him is me !", Rin shouted while crossing his arms.

"Relax, bro… I was just being asked to search for any clues from the pictures. I need to start making my report too, so I need the pictures. So, Rin… Don't you think that your 'cute wife' feel the same ? I mean… you've been having sex with another people a few times without him knowing, right ? Well... I'm not the one to talk since I'm one of those guys...", Sousuke said while raising his eyebrow a bit.

"That's… I can't help with that ! Geez… Let's get our work starting now !", Rin said, changing the topic. 'It's not like I haven't tried to change… I even went for treatment as you suggested.', he thought.

Sousuke shook his head seeing Rin's reaction – he had tried many times to tell Rin to stop his habit but he always failed, like what happened just now. Rin always changes the topic whenever Sousuke talks about what Haruka would feel towards his habit. He couldn't blame Rin completely though since his bad habit developed because of his previous job – part-time job to be exact. Rin had worked at a gay bar before to improve his family's financial during his study and it was all Sousuke's suggestion.

* * *

 

_"_ _Yo, Sousuke !", Rin greeted as soon as Sousuke received his call._

_"_ _What's with the sudden call ?"_

_"_ _Come on, Sousuke… I just feel like I missed you."_

_'_ _Miss me ? What a terrible liar… You only miss Nanase…', Sousuke thought as Rin would never call him if he's not having any problem. "Yeah… As if… So, what's your problem now ?"_

_"_ _I'm want to do a part-time job !"_

_"_ _So ?"_

_"_ _I need a job with fast and high pay. So… what do you think I should work as ?"_

_"_ _Hmm… How about working at a gay bar ? Currently, I'm working there too. The pay sure is quite high but… hmm… never mind… I think you could do the job well. You're good looking so I don't think you'll have any problem with getting the customers' attentions."_

_"_ _G-gay bar, huh ? Well…"_

_"_ _What ? It's not like you haven't done sex before. You've done it with Nanase, right ? And it doesn't seem like you two are in a serious relationship anyway. It'll be just fine if he don't know about it."_

_"_ _Well… Fine… Maybe I'll start around next week. Anyway, thanks."_

_"_ _No problem."_

* * *

 

'It's my fault that he turned out like this…', Sousuke thought then let out a sigh. It's not like he really cares about Haruka but he feels like it's his responsibility to advise his best friend before everything turns out bad for him. Sousuke sighed again as he felt guilty to Haruka – he had sex with Rin a couple times before too, in Rin's bedroom when Haruka's not home or in his apartment. Rin's plea is just irresistible, especially when he's getting horny or drunk. He felt stupid that he would do that with someone else's lover but he couldn't help it – he loves Rin and he wants to be with him even though they had broken up. When he heard about from Rin that he's going to marry Haruka, he felt like his heart had stopped beating that time but he didn't bother to argue with Rin since Rin had always had his eyes on Haruka from the first time he saw him.

"Well, so far… the motive of the crime is still unidentified. The culprit might just want to rape him. He's quite a pretty guy after all.", Sousuke explained to Rin.

"I know that he's beautiful but… There haven't been any reports about rapists around that neighborhood especially from 'males'.", Rin replied, stressing his voice at the word 'males' while running his hand through his hair, pushing his forelocks backward, feeling a bit irritated. "And… if rape is their ulterior motive, why did they carved those cursing words on him ?"

"Oh, those scars. Totally forgot about it. My bad."

"Come on, Sousuke ! Don't overlook that obvious clue !"

"It could be grudge… Maybe someone had been targeting him all this time ? Did he get involved with something he shouldn't ?", Sousuke said, staring at Rin.

"I… don't know…", Rin said, automatically lowering his head helplessly. Haruka had never tell Rin about his problems, not even once, so he assumed that everything was okay about Haruka and he didn't bother to ask anymore since the only respond he'd get was, "With your presence in my life, there's no way I'll not be okay.", "Just thinking about you makes my problems disappear, you know.", "You'll get old early if you worry too much.", or something similar to those lines, said with a sweet smile on his face – Rin was always defeated with that move. 'That's not fair… Haru… you're stupid.'

"Didn't Nanase tell you anything ? Maybe about something strange or suspicious happening around him ?"

"Nope. Not at all.", Rin sighed.

"Well, if this is just a rape case, I don't think this case will take a long time to be solved. Once the result of the semen samples being analyzed, we could arrest them in no time, if the sample isn't corrupted though. Well, if it's the other way round, this will take quite a long time to solve or might not be solved at all."

"Whatever the result is, we should investigate this case thoroughly. Let's leave the crime scene investigation to the forensics. We should search for other clues.", Rin suggested.

"Then the first thing to do is interrogating his close friends since you're a helpless husband."


	5. Chapter 5

"Yo, Nanase ! I'm coming for a visit.", Sousuke greeted the sleeping guy as he walked into the room. It was Rin's idea to meet at the hospital after their working time but the crimson-haired guy seems to be coming pretty late, so he asked Sousuke to wait in Haruka's room for a while. Sousuke stares at the machines near the bed and at the long wires connecting Haruka to the machines then smirked. "How vulnerable… You even need the oxygen tank to breathe. If I just cut or detach one of these wires, you'll be dead for good and maybe I'll get my Rin back.", he murmured alone. He really wanted to do that but then, if Rin knows about it, he will hate him forever and he wouldn't want that. He took a chair and sat closer to the bed, and then observes Haruka thoroughly. "Why did Rin chose you anyway ? I couldn't see anything interesting in you.", he said, curious of why would Rin choose Haruka over him because he's Haruka - a guy with a stoic emotion plastered all the time, a guy with lack of emotions, a guy that's just plain, a water-freak and a mackerel maniac. The only thing good on him is his swimming and cooking skill. It's true that he's pretty but it's not like he's so good looking. Sousuke let out a heavy sigh, his mind is full with bad thoughts. 'Well, whoever it is, won't it be good if the one who had done this to you finish what he had done and kill you for me.', he thought, staring at Haruka's face, his hand playing with one of the wires.

"Oi, stop playing with the wire, would you ?", Rin scolded as he saw Sousuke the moment he stepped into the room.

"I'm just curious of what will happen if I cut one of these wires.", Sousuke said with an evil grin on his face, observing the change of Rin's expression upon hearing his words.

"Is that supposed to be a joke ? If it is, it's not funny at all. I won't hesitate to kill you if you do that.", Rin threatened, glaring right into Sousuke's turquoise eyes, earning a laugh from the bigger guy.

"You really love him, don't you ?"

"Of course I am ! I wouldn't marry him if I'm not so in love with him."

"You know… I wish it was me who married you.", Sousuke said earnestly, staring at Haruka, while his mind reminiscing their old days together before Haruka came crashing into their life. "Hey… If Nanase won't wake up… would you-"

"Stop it, Sousuke !", Rin interrupted his words – he hated it when other people talk to him like that. "Haru is going to wake up and I believe in him… and… our relationship had long stopped.", Rin continued to talk, focusing his sight to Sousuke, while his hand gripping Haruka's right hand tightly.

"Well, I've expected that answer… Man… this conversation is turning gloomy. I'm going home."

Sousuke stood up then walked out of the room quickly after saying his words, holding his feeling from overflowing. "Haru, you'll wake up… won't you ?", Rin muttered weakly, as he feel like the sadness that he had been holding up since morning trying to flow out. _"If Nanase wouldn't wake up…"_ Sousuke's words kept echoing in his mind and he felt so scared; scared of Haruka dying, scared of how he'll cope if Haruka really dies and scared of Haruka losing his memory. He doesn't want any of that to happen – he wants Haruka to wake up as the same Haruka he shared their sweet memories together. If he's going to lose his memory, then how will Rin cope with that ? Little by little, the tears he had tried his best to hold started to flow again. He lowered down his head and rested it beside Haruka, crying silently, while muttering Haruka's name like a chant, hoping that his voice will reach him.

* * *

"Haru… Haru… Haru…", a voice suddenly appeared to his hearing. He tried to open his eyes slowly, and when he managed to open them, he felt terrified – there was nothing but darkness surrounding him, making him feel so insecure. He tried to move around but he couldn't move his body even a bit. Something is holding him from moving but he couldn't see what it was since it is too dark. 'Where am I ? Why am I here ?', he thought. After a while, the voice he had heard before came back, echoing in the surrounding – it sounded like the voice was very far away from him and it sounded very sad. "Rin !", he shouted as he recognized the owner of that voice very well, but no reply was heard. "Rin !", he tried calling him again, but the result was still the same – he didn't get a reply. He struggled to let himself free but nothing happened; the force on his body is still strong like before and it seems like every movement consumed lots of energy, making him feeling weak by every seconds. "Please… set me free… Rin needs me…", he murmured before falling unconscious again.

* * *

"Rin-chan... Rin-chan… Hey, wake up.", Nagisa said, trying to wake Rin up, keeping his voice as low as possible, enough to wake Rin up without disturbing Haruka despite knowing that the latter won't wake up even if he shouted. Rin slowly woke up after being patted gently on is back a few times by Nagisa.

"N… Nagisa ?", he muttered sleepily as he tried his best to open his eyes to look at Nagisa.

"It's already morning, Rin-chan~ Wake up~", Nagisa chirped happily.

"I know… I know…", Rin replied lazily, stretching his sore neck due to his bad sleeping posture last night. He didn't know when did he fall asleep last night – all that he know, he slept while crying again.

"Rin-chan, don't you need to go to work today ?"

"Nope… I took a leave…"

"Is that so ? Good then. Haru-chan must be lonely without you by his side.", Nagisa said, looking at Haruka with a smile.

"Yeah… By the way, I need some clues. So... I would like to ask some questions.", Rin explained.

"Could you do it during dinner ? We're pretty busy during the day.", Nagisa suggested.

Rin agreed to Nagisa's suggestion and decided to hold the interrogation in Haruka's small restaurant, as he also wanted to check out how's the restaurant going without its owner coming to work. After spending some time talking to Rin, Nagisa excused himself since he has classes to attend, leaving Rin alone in the silent room again. "Hey, Haru… Don't you want to wake up ?", Rin said to the sleeping beauty in front of him but as always, the respond was none. "Y-you… look like the zombie… we watched in the movie before…", Rin said again, forcing a smile on his face, as he remembered the moment they watched the movie together. Since the movie was in English, Haruka ended up asking Rin to translate each sentence the characters said throughout the movie.

"You were very bad in English, you know… but you only took a few months to master it. Aren't you a genius one in studying too ?", Rin compliment Haruka while his hand caressing his head lovingly.

"Hey… Let's swim when you have recovered. You must be missing the pool, right ? So wake up soon… The water is calling you…", Rin muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

The small restaurant was still as busy as always, even though its owner was still sleeping soundlessly, as if the owner's absence didn't give any effect on its sales – the customers keep walking in and out of the restaurant, not showing any hint for the customers flow to stop. The restaurant's cozy and relaxing atmosphere might be some of the reasons on the popularity of it, besides for having delicious foods and good services from the staff. The foods aren't priced too high too, so that all customers can enjoy the taste of a 5 star cooking without having to pay much, and sometimes, the owner will hold a special day where the customers can eat all they wanted in very low prices or even for free – those are all in the courtesy of the owner. Even Rin doesn't know how the owner managed to continue the business with that kind of management since the cost seems to be larger than the profit but the result from it, the customers come to love the restaurant, the owner, the foods and the staffs in it. Among the customers, there were a group of three friends, sitting together at a table labeled No.6, waiting for a certain crimson-head to arrive.

"Ugh… Rin-chan is late !", screamed Nagisa, all eyes staring at him.

"Nagisa… I think you're too loud.", Makoto whispered.

"But I'm so hungry~~ Ugh… I could die...", Nagisa replied, leaning his head on Rei's shoulder. Looking at Nagisa's behavior, Rei shook his head.

"Stop it,Nagisa… Your behaviour is not beautiful at all. You're embarrassing. Besides, you just ate Iwatobi cream bread before – two of them !", Rei scolded him, earning a whine from the blonde.

"Yo ! Sorry, I'm late !", a crimson-haired guy greeted as he walked towards the table.

"Rin-chan ! Let's eat first ! I'm hungry~~"

"Fine… Order anything you all want first, I'm going to check out some things inside. It's my treat.", Rin said, leaving the table, walking his way towards the door leading to the kitchen.

Rin took a look at his surrounding, examining every inches of the restaurant and every person sitting at the tables. 'They don't really care about his absence, huh… Well, it's Haruka after all. I bet he rarely leaves the kitchen. Do the customers know him anyway ? I bet he doesn't even talk much to his employees.', Rin thought but suddenly, he heard something that changed that thought. He immediately turned his attention towards the conversation.

"Can I have the owner's signature dish ?", a woman asked the waiter. From her looks, she might be around 50 years old or older.

"I'm sorry, but the owner's is absent today too under some circumstances.", the waiter explained.

"Really ? Is he sick ?", she asked – Rin could hear the concerned tone in her voice.

"We don't really know. All that he told us was he's taking a personal leave for a day and he should have come to work back by today."

"Hmm… He's a good son... I hope he'll be fine soon.", she said. " Then, I'll order a regular bowl of ramen to eat… and green tea to drink."

"Okay. Please wait for a while.", the waiter said, then bowed slightly.

Rin smiled at the sight he saw – there's someone who actually knows and care about Haruka after all. Involuntarily forgetting his main destination, Rin walked towards the woman. He didn't really sure what he's doing, but in his mind, he wanted to ask more about Haruka from the woman – the part of Haruka he had never seen before. Rin had come to the restaurant with Sousuke a few times before, but he haven't really seen Haruka staying at the customers' lounge longer than 10 minutes nor have he seen him communicating much with the customers. The way the woman said, 'He's a good son', sounded like she really knows Haruka and it made Rin felt curious. 'What exactly Haruka did without me knowing ?', he thought. As he reached the table, he asked the woman's permission to sit on the chair opposite to her.

"May I sit here ?"

"Yes, you can. Oh my… Aren't you Haruka-kun's husband ?", the woman said, resulting a surprised look on Rin's face.

"Y-you know about me ?", Rin asked curiously.

"Of course, I am. He sometimes talks about you.", the woman replied with a fond smile. "Haruka-kun admires and loves you a lot. By the way, I'm Masatomo Akiko. Glad to meet you."

"O-owh… H-he said such things to you… I'm Matsuoka Rin.", Rin replied with a faint blush on his face.

"So… what exactly does Haruka-kun's husband doing here, sitting with me ?"

"I… I overheard your conversation with the waiter… and… I'm kind of interested with part of the sentence from your conversation. 'He's a good soon', you said before. It seems like you know him quite a lot.", Rin explained.

"Is that all ?", Masatomo-san asked then chuckled. "I thought I did something you don't like to Haruka-kun."

"N-no… Not at all. I didn't even know you and this is the first time I saw you."

"He's really a good son. Though he might look stoic all the time, he's actually very kind and considerate. You might don't know but he's very good with the kids."

"That guy… Really ?", Rin asked, feeling surprised.

"Mhmm… There are even some kids who come to just play with him during his free time."

All this time, he had always thought that Haruka doesn't like kids since they're troublesome – Haruka hates something that's troublesome to him. Rin once asked him if he's fine with having a child in the house, but Haruka said that he's not ready for that as he hasn't spent enough time with Rin since Rin's always so busy with works. Besides, they were still studying that time. There's no way they could cope with studies, works and a kid with their tight schedule and assignments.

"Could you tell me what did he help you with ?"

"Haruka-kun told me to keep the story as a secret from you, but if you really wanted to know, I don't really mind telling you. You're his husband after all."

* * *

_The time was flowing slower than usual that day for me. I had never felt that way anymore ever since 2 years ago, when my daughter and son-in-law had died in a car accident on the same snowy day, making me losing 2 from 3 of my only family member; my husband had passed away 2 years ago. Comforting Yuki – my granddaughter and my only family member left – after the death of her parents was hard as she had always been so close to them. The loss of her parents made her suffer a great deal of sadness and emptiness in her life. Anything I did, anything I tried, none of them managed to reach her – it's as if she had built a wall between us, a wall so hard that I couldn't break it no matter how hard I try. But one day, she turned out well on her own all in a sudden. I still remember the day when Yuki went home crying, running to me that was cooking in the kitchen, then hugged me tight, saying that she's sorry and she loves me._

_I was surprised by the sudden change from my granddaughter and asked what happened. All that she said was, someone said to her, "No matter who they are, related or not to you by blood, if that they really love you and care about you, doesn't it make them a part of your family ? A family is supposed to love and care about the members in it after all. And of course, at times some of them will leave us forever, but you still have the others to support you when that time comes. That's why; appreciate those who love you before it's too late." From those words, all that I could say was I'm very grateful my granddaughter had met him and that person must had gone through a lot of things in his life._

_My heart felt so anxious since the moment Yuki stepped out of the gate to go to school that morning, as if something bad will happen to her. Even so, all I could do was keeping my heart strong and pray for Yuki's safety while I work._ _The pharmacy where I work closed an hour earlier than usual so that the workers can go home early to avoid being trapped in the heavy snow predicted by the weather forecast in the news last night.I had decided to wait for Yuki at the bus stop near the pharmacy where Yuki would always stop by. It's getting colder as the time grows – even the thick coat couldn't help to keep me warm all the time – but I still waited. Every time the bus stopped by, I'll stand up to search for Yuki among the crowds but she wasn't there. 'Something is wrong.', my conscience said but I decided to keep my heart strong for a little longer, until the last bus arrived – Yuki wasn't there too. Suddenly, my phone rang, breaking the silence at the bus stop._

_"_ _H-hello ? May I know who's calling ?", I said with my voice shaking due to the increasing coldness of the surrounding._

_"_ _Hello. I'm Kurosaki Hayato from Samezuka General Hospital. I'm calling to inform you that your granddaughter is currently being treated here."_

_"_ _W-what ? What happened ?", I asked, tears starting to form in my eyes, making my vision to be blurry._

_"_ _She was involved in an accident. A hit and run one according to the person who called the ambulance."_

_"_ _I-is she okay ? The injury is not life-threatening, right ?"_

_"_ _I don't know since she's still in the surgery room."_

_"_ _I-I'll come as soon as possible.", I said then turned off the call, not caring to hear the rest of the words said by the caller; all that I care was, I wanted to see Yuki right away._

_I took a look at my surrounding, searching for any taxi or any car that could bring me to the hospital but I couldn't see any of the taxis running on the road and not even one car bothered to stop when I tried to stop them – all of the drivers seem like they're in hurry; of course they are because the snow had started falling quite heavy than usual. Driving in a heavy snow isn't safe and accidents usually happen if the driver is not careful enough while driving. Despite the situation, I kept waiting for another car to pass by the bus stop and after waiting for quite a while, I could see a blue-coloured car approaching the bus stop – a car with a luxurious look I could say. As the car stopped right in front of the bus stop, I immediately stood up from the bench and walk towards the driver's window._

_"_ _What are you doing waiting here ? It's getting colder and the public transports had stopped running.", the driver asked as he open the window._

_"_ _I-I want to see my granddaughter. She was involved in an accident and is currently being treated in Samezuka General Hospital but…", I said, tears flowing out of my eyes as I couldn't hold them any longer._

_"_ _Is that so ? Hop in my car then… I'll bring you there.", he said, while unlocking the doors._

_"_ _Really ? T-Thank you."_

_I went into the car as soon as he unlocked the door – I might look like crazy by that time, but I didn't care, the driver didn't seem to care too. He tried to drive his car as fast as he could under the bad weather, trying to get me to the hospital as soon as possible. He didn't talk at all since the time I hopped into the car, keeping his stoic face all the time; maybe he's trying to concentrate on his driving or he's actually not someone who likes to start a conversation. Whoever and however he is, he's kind enough to bring me to the hospital in this kind of situation and it's very rare to find such person these days. Since he didn't want to talk, I kept my mouth shut so that he can concentrate on his driving._

* * *

_'_ _Rin will scold me if he knows about this.', Haruka thought. He really understands Rin's overprotective side in things concerning his safety; he didn't hate it because Rin being overprotective means that he loves him very much that he's afraid if anything bad happens to him, but he didn't like too much constraint – he's already a grown-up man and he knows how to take care of his self. Haruka took a quick glance at the person sitting next to him and then turned his focus back on the road. She looks so worried that he wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how._

_"_ _H-hey…", he tried to speak. "It's okay. I'm sure she'll be fine and by the way, I'm bringing you there, right ? So… you don't have to worry so much. Just… put your faith on her."_

_"_ _Y-yeah… I'm sorry if I'm troubling you. It's snowing heavily but you still…"_

_"_ _Not at all. I'm the one who chose to help you. I might not look like it, but I'm a genius on snowy road. Snow comes from water too, right ? As long as it's things involving water, I'm a genius in it."_

_"_ _Haha… You're a weird one, don't you ?", she said, finally letting out a smile._

_"_ _I guess so… Many people had said that to me before…", he replied. 'Rin said the same too.', Haruka thought, smiling to his self. People calling him weird didn't really affect him – he's used to it._

_He took another glance at the woman beside him; she looks a bit relieved than before. 'Seems like the exaggerating confidence of mine works.', his mind thought. He's glad that she had finally feel relieved even if it's just a bit but at the same time, he feels a bit worry – he's not a 'genius' on snowy road. The truth is, he rarely drives his car and the last time he drove the car was a month ago. Besides, he had never drove on a snowy road, which makes him even worry. He took a deep breath to calm his heart then tried to think of any advices he had heard or read from someone or somewhere before. 'If I recall… I've read it somewhere… on the net…', he thought._

_'_ _Avoid driving in heavy snow… I'm breaking that one already. Clear the snow off of the windshield, windows, mirrors, headlights and brake lights… They're uncovered by the snow for now. Then… make sure the wipers and headlights are turned on. Done. Be patient… I can't for now. Drive closer to the middle of the road…', Haruka stopped thinking for a while, moving his car to the middle of the road a bit, while his eyes observing the surroundings outside the car – the heavy snow had indeed decreased his vision but he still continue driving a bit fast but carefully. He didn't want anything bad happens to him and the woman beside him as both of them have someone who waits for them._


	7. Chapter 7

_The journey to the hospital that usually takes around 30 minutes by transport from the bus stop had taken around 45 minutes this time because of the weather – the blue-eyed young man beside me had done his job very well. He dropped me right in front of the hospital lobby entrance then excused himself to search for a place to park his car. I ran into the lobby, making my way towards the reception counter to ask for Yuki._

_"_ _Excuse me. Is there a patient named Masatomo Yuki being treated here ?", I asked as I reached the counter._

_"_ _Masatomo Yuki ? The one who was just being admitted here an hour ago, right ?"_

_"_ _Y-yes."_

_"_ _She's currently in the ward numbered 202 upstairs. May I ask who you are ?"_

_"_ _I'm Masatomo Akiko, her grandmother. Can I see her right now ?"_

_"_ _Sure. Take your time visiting her. It must be hard for you."_

_"_ _Thank you.", I replied then made my way to the second floor to see Yuki._

* * *

_As Haruka parked his car, he waited for a while in the car, thinking whether to tell Rin about his situation or not. He took out his phone, staring at it for a few seconds then tapped at the messaging icon; Rin's name came out first since he's the last and frequent person he had contacted that day. He tapped at Rin's name, getting ready to type a message to Rin but he's having a mixed feeling. 'Should I tell Rin ? Should I keep quiet ?', he argued in his mind. 'If I tell him…Rin will definitely give me his long and grumpy lecture…', he thought. After arguing with his decision for quite a long time, he decided to keep it as a secret since he didn't want Rin to be worried; Rin has a lot of things to think of rather than worrying about him and he doesn't want to be selfish. Haruka took a look at Rin's name in his phone again. 'Maybe I should just tell him that I won't be home tonight.' With that thought, he started to type a message for Rin._

* * *

_To : Rin_

_Subject : I'm not going home_

_Rin, I have something to be settled tonight so I won't be coming home._

* * *

_Haruka tapped the send button and waited for Rin's reply. Within a few seconds, a message from Rin arrived._

* * *

_From : Rin_

_Subject : Re: I'm not going home_

_Is that so ? Well, what a coincidence. I can't go home tonight too._

* * *

_Haruka felt a bit surprised with Rin's reply as he usually will ask more things every time Haruka sent a message containing the word 'I have to do something'. He'll ask what is exactly that 'something' Haruka is going to do, where and with whom he is going to do that. 'Maybe he's really busy…'_

* * *

_To : Rin_

_Subject : Re:Re I'm not going home_

_Still in the office ?_

* * *

_Haruka replied to Rin's message then waited for Rin's reply. This time, the reply took quite a time to arrive so Haruka went out of his car then walked into the hospital lobby. As he entered the lobby, his sapphire orbs immediately observe the surroundings, searching for the woman he had sent before. 'Wait… She might have gone to her granddaughter's ward. Then… I should ask the person at the reception counter.'_

_"_ _Excuse me, miss… May I ask something ?", Haruka asked the young female who's busy writing something._

_"_ _Yes ?", she asked and as she raised her head up to look at Haruka, she suddenly gasped. "Haruka-cchi ?"_

_"_ _Owh… it's you…", Haruka replied dryly._

_"_ _Come on… what a passive reaction, Haruka-cchi~ ~", the girl whined while pinching Haruka's cheeks._

_"_ _Oi… Stop it, Mizushima…"_

_"_ _Haruka-cchi~~ Can't you act more friendly ? Call me by my name ! It's our first time meeting after our university days after all~"_

_Haruka sighed at the situation he's having now – he really couldn't stand someone so clingy and persistent like this. It's not like he's having problem calling people with their name, but it feels different with this girl in front of him since her name is the same as him – Haruka."How did we become friends in the first place, Ha-ru-ka ?", he said while his hand reached his wallet then took out a card. "Here's my business card… I work there, so come if you have your time. We can… have a little conversation if you really want to."_

_"_ _A restaurant owner and the head chef ? Woah~ Amazing ! I'll definitely go there ! Your cooking is su~per delicious !", she said in excitement._

_"_ _Stop exaggerating… It's not that amazing…", Haruka said, frowning._

_"Can I have discounts ?"_

_"No... The prices you'll find in my restaurant is the lowest. If you want any lower price, you can come during events or special occasions."_

_"_ _Hehe… Is that so ? Then, what can I help you with, Haruka-cchi ?"_

_"_ _Uh… Have you seen a woman coming here just now ? She looks around 50 and wears a maroon coat."_

_"_ _The one whose granddaughter involved in the accident just an hour ago ?"_

_"_ _Yeah… That one."_

_"_ _She's currently in the ward where her granddaughter is currently being treated. Why do you ask for her ?"_

_"_ _About her granddaughter's treatment cost… put it under my account. I'll pay for it."_

_"_ _Huh ? Why ? Don't tell me that you're the one who hit her…"_

_"_ _Of course not… I just… wanted to help her…"_

_"_ _She somehow reminds you about your late grandmother, right ?", she said as if she can read Haruka's mind. She might not be as good as Makoto in reading Haruka's mind, but she had been friends with him long enough to know him and his behaviour pretty well._

_"_ _Yeah…If she was in her place, and I was in her granddaughter place… I think she'll do the same… Waiting like an idiot and trying her best to find a ride in this bad weather just to be with her grandson…"_

_"_ _Alright then… Fill in your full name, identity card number, phone number, the account number which you're going to use to pay the treatment with and a few information in this form."_

_Haruka filled out the form given by her at the reception counter then went to the waiting lounge to wait until the snow stop falling down, maybe until the next day. He took a look at his phone; Rin hasn't replied since 30 minutes ago. 'Maybe he's already sleeping… It'll be nice to sleep in Rin's hug during times like this…', Haruka thought. He had always loved Rin's hugs since they're very warm even during cold weather and he couldn't help to resist the temptation to cling to Rin's body when he's sleeping by his side. Somehow, Rin's broad chest and warmth always makes him feel safe and secure and Rin's heartbeat rhythm is his perfect lullaby. Haruka let out a sigh; today had been a very exhausting day for him. He left his house earlier than usual in the morning to prepare a large scale food catering for a wedding ceremony, cooked for the customers after finished with the catering then when he thought he could rest to his heart content in the evening, he ended up helping a stranger on his way home. He, himself couldn't believe that he actually helped that woman and managed to drive the car in such a troublesome weather._

_Remembering the woman he helped just now made his mind travels to the days when his late grandmother was still alive. His late grandmother had always loved him and treated him like her own son. During his hard times, she was always there by his side to comfort and support him, making him feels like his grandmother loves him more than his parents. 'I miss you…', he thought, then suddenly, his phone rang._

_"_ _A call from Rin ?", he muttered then received the call._

_"_ _Hey, Rin… What's up ?", he asked but no answer was given. All he could hear is the sound of something rustling against each other and the sound of someone with heavy breathing. 'Did he accidentally called me ?' he thought, wanting to end the call but stopped when he heard some moaning voices._

_"_ _A-ah… Sou… Stop it…", the voice sounded and Haruka knows really well who's the owner of the voice – it's Rin's. 'He's saying 'Sou'… then he's probably with Yamazaki right now…', Haruka thought, his heartbeat starting to pound faster as he could already guess what is happening on the other side of the phone but he still continue to hear the conversation to confirm that guess._

_"_ _Stop ? But it looks like you're enjoying it…", a deep voice came to his hearing. 'Yeah… I knew it… It's Yamazaki…'_

_"_ _A-ah… Sou… Damn it… You're so good in this…", Rin said, his voice sounding in pleasure._

_"_ _Don't underestimate my skills, stupid."_

_"_ _Ngh… Sou… Ah..!"_

_"_ _Just a little bit more…"_

_"_ _It's enough… Just… Ah! Do it.."_

_"_ _Are you sure ?"_

_"_ _Sou… Hurry…"_

_"_ _I'm going to put it in."_

_"_ _Ngh… Ah..! Sou…"_

_Haruka immediately ended the call; his heart felt like it had been stabbed millions of time from the inside and it's not the first time he felt that feeling – it's a feeling strong enough to make him suffocate every time he feels it. It was really clear that Rin is having sex with Sousuke from the conversation in the phone call. 'He lied… again…', Haruka thought, his tears are threatening to flow out from his tear glands but he tried hold them in. He smirked to himself when he thought about his hesitation to tell Rin that he was driving in the heavy snow back then. 'Rin wouldn't care about 'you' after all…', he mocked himself. Now he understood why Rin didn't bother to ask lots of things as usual in his text before – he's too busy spending his intimate time with someone else._

_Rin lying to him is not a weird thing to Haruka anymore. He had always done that since the time he started his part-time job. There were times when Haruka decided to give up on their relationship, but every time he had determined to do that, he would just let it slide like nothing had happened. He really loves Rin and he had always thought that maybe Rin needs some times to change his self. That's why, Haruka had given him chances – a lot of them since he doesn't want to lose him. Rin is his water; exciting, calming, energizing but sometimes suffocating and almost drowning him, just like water. "Well, I'm currently lying too… Maybe it's a punishment for me… Hah… Grandma… What should I do ?", he muttered with his tears starting to flow down his cheeks as he couldn't refrain his sadness anymore._

* * *

_I had never imagined that this situation will actually happen again in my life. Nevertheless, I was glad that her injuries were not life-threatening – she just broke her right hand and had metal inserted to support it. "Get well soon, okay ?", I whispered as that was the only thing I could do for her – praying for her and support her with all my might. I have been staying inside the room for about an hour and I had completely forgotten about the young man who sent me here. I stood up from the chair then walked out of the room to get some fresh air since the smell of the medicines used inside the room was suffocating. Yeah, I do work in a pharmacy, surrounded with many types of medicines but the smell still couldn't beat the ones in the hospital. I made my way to the ground floor where the lobby is situated since I wanted to see that blue-eyed guy and thank him for taking the risk of bringing me here. I went to the waiting lounge and found him sitting on a chair while hugging his navy-blue coat that he was wearing before._

_"_ _Tired, aren't you ?", I asked as I sit beside him. He immediately rose up his head to look at me as he heard my voice._

_"_ _Y-yeah… There was a lot of things happened today…", he said with a smile but the smile seemed like a forced one . His eyes look a bit different from before; they were very clear and full of spirit back then, giving anyone who sees them a kind of energetic and fresh feelings with a feeling of calmness, in my opinion – that was what I felt when I look at them before. They're enchanting. But what I saw by now is different._

_"_ _Were you crying ?", I asked, making him a bit startled._

_"_ _N-no… I'm just sleepy… That's all…", he replied, trying to hide his real feelings but I could feel his sadness – call it a mother's instinct._

_"_ _You can't lie to me… I could see it in your eyes. Just how many years did you think I lived until now ?"_

_"_ _Well… I… was just missing my late grandmother… Seeing you was… kind of triggering those memories…", he said with a low voice._

_"_ _I'm sorry…"_

_"_ _It's okay… How's your granddaughter ?"_

_"_ _She's fine. Thanks for asking. She had just broken her right arm and the doctor had inserted a metal to support her hand."_

_"_ _Owh… By the way, I'm Nanase Haruka."_

_"_ _Oh my… I totally forgot to introduce myself… I'm Masatomo Akiko. Glad to meet a good son like you."_

_"_ _Uh… Please don't call me that… I'm not that good… I just did what my mind thinks right."_

_He's indeed a shy, considerate and humble person – such qualities I rarely find in the people I met these days. We continued talking about his background, my background and things related to our lives, except for something too personal; every person has a secret or two._

* * *

"When Yuki woke up the next day, she was surprised to see him by my side. It turned out that Haruka-kun was the person who changed her back then." _,_ Masatomo-san said then took a sip of her tea then continued speaking. "He also paid for her treatment in without me knowing. He's just someone too good to be true…"

"Haru… did all of that ?", Rin said in awe. He almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. The emotionless water-freak had actually ignored his warning just to help a total stranger. Rin had always known that Haruka is a kind-hearted person but he never thought that he'd gone that far to help a person he didn't know. 'That guy is so unpredictable…', he thought.

"If I were around his age, I'd definitely fell in love in him that time.", she said then chuckled. "Oh my… I almost forgot. How's Haruka-kun ? Is he alright ?", she asked in a tone with full of concern. Rin's facial expression immediately changed upon hearing the question.

"He's… I shouldn't tell anyone else about this… but I think it's okay if it's you.", Rin said then stopped to take a deep breath. "He's currently being treated in the hospital… He's in coma… Something bad happened and I'm still investigating it."

"Oh my god… How terrible…"

"Yeah… Anyway, please don't tell this to anyone since we still don't know who the criminals are and their motives."

"That means… they'll come back if they know that he's still alive."

"From the look of it, yes. They somehow have a grudge on him."

"But he's such a nice person… How come ?"

"I… don't know… I'll try my best to capture them."

"I know you could do that…", she said with a smile on her face. "Please take care of him…"

"I will…", Rin said then excuse himself to return to the table where his friends were sitting. He had taken a long time chatting with Masatomo-san so he decided to check out the staffs and Haruka's office the next time he have his time.


	8. Chapter 8

Rin walked towards the table where his 3 friends are sitting at as he done talking to Masotomo-san. He felt proud of Haruka's good deeds and he relieved that he asked her about Haruka but somehow, his curiosity didn't go away – it was as if there is more about Haruka that he still doesn't know. 'Just how much more you're hiding from me, Haru…', Rin thought, somehow feeling a bit disappointed with the fact that Haruka is hiding a lot of things from him.

"Sorry, I was taking too much time.", Rin apologized as he reached the table.

"It's okay, Rin. Nagisa is still eating anyway.", Makoto said while pointing at Nagisa who is stuffing his foods into his mouth.

"Yeah… I haven't eat my portion too…", Rin said. He took the cutlery prepared beside his plate then started to eat his food. 'This steak almost tastes the same like the one Haru cooks at home…', Rin thought as he chew on the piece of steak he had put into his mouth. For Rin, there is something that differentiates Haruka's menus and other restaurants' menus – something that is hard to be explained by words. 'This restaurant is awfully bringing back those nostalgic memories…'

* * *

"Then… let's start. Before the incident, did Haru tell you anything or suspicious ? Anything weird ?", Rin asked seriously as he started the interrogation. He waited for answers but none of them were answering, each one of them just has a solemn look on their faces. "Uh… Anyone bother to say anything, please ?"

"He didn't tell me anything and I can't read him anymore… You do know that Haru isn't close to me after that day, right ?", Makoto said, his face showing a hint of guilt.

"That day ? What ? When ?", Rin asked, feeling surprised.

"Didn't he tell you ?", Nagisa asked, curiously.

"Tell me what ?"

"I… I forced him… to do sex with me…", Makoto said in a low voice, feeling ashamed and guilty of his doing.

"What ?!", Rin said, glaring fiercely into Makoto's emerald eyes.

"It's exactly like what I said…", Makoto said, turning his face away from Rin.

Upon hearing his words, Rin immediately stood up, grabbing the collar of Makoto's shirt harshly as he felt very angry and betrayed. Of all people, Makoto, his best friend and the nicest and gentlest guy in the group had did that kind of thing to his lover. All eyes are now staring them, feeling shocked at the sudden violent act occurring in the calm atmosphere of the restaurant but Rin didn't care as his feelings has made him numb of the surrounding.

"Stop it, both of you !", Nagisa raised his voice as Rin began to lift up his fist to punch Makoto.

"N-nagisa…", Rei said, feeling a bit startled.

"Both of you… I don't really care if both of you want to pick a fight but please respect this place. This is Haru-chan's precious place !" , Nagisa said again, resulting both Rin and Makoto to sit back on their chair, eyes fixed on the table. "Now, Rin-chan… You wanted to interrogate each one of us, right ?", Nagisa asked, starting to calm down but his voice is still sounding serious.

"Yeah… Do-", Rin replied but his words were cut by Nagisa.

"You don't have to ask each one of us.", Nagisa said, resulting a puzzled emotion from the three guys sitting by the table.

"Why ?", Rin asked.

"Since none of us know about it.", Nagisa gave his answer then took a deep breath. "He's not someone who would tell about his problems easily, even to 'you', Rin. Have you even hear him complaining about his works, his life or anything ? The answer is 'no', right ?"

Rin didn't dare to speak at all as Nagisa's words came out – the truth struck him like lightning. He didn't want to admit it but Nagisa's words are true; it's a fact that he couldn't deny. It's Haruka they're talking about – someone who loves to bottle up his feelings, hide his problems and act like nothing bad happens. 'Haru… don't you even have your trust in me ?', Rin thought.

"Nagisa, the way you said, 'Didn't he tell you ?' before. It seems like you know about the incident between Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai.", Rei said.

"Yeah. I know about it."

"But you said before…"

"About Haru-chan wouldn't tell his problems to anyone ? That's true. He didn't tell me. I accidentally read it in his journal.", Nagisa said.

"Journal ?", Makoto, Rin and Rei said at the same time as they felt surprised by that fact. They had never thought that Haruka would ever bother to write a journal about his life.

* * *

Rin let out a heavy sigh as he reached home as he felt very tired; maybe not physically but he's really tired emotionally. A lot of things happened at the restaurant and lots of truth had prevailed after talking to Masatomo-san and Nagisa. Rin turned off the car engine then went out of his car, heading towards a beautiful blue car – a Volkswagen sport car called Golf R – parked inside the garage, wanting to take a look at it before entering the house. 'He's really good in taking care of something... Even his car looks flawless...', Rin thought as he saw there's not even a scratch or a dent could be found on the car – anyone who sees the car would expect that it had just recently bought. Even though Haruka rarely drive his car, he would always take his time to warm up his car engine before going to work. As Rin unlocked the car's door, he entered the car, sitting at the driver's seat, the seat where Haruka always sit on when driving. He could smell the faint scent of Haruka's favorite perfume in the car; Haruka isn't really fond of perfumes but somehow, he really loves the one Rin bought as a souvenir for him. Rin could still remember the day he bought the perfume – it was on the last day of his training camp.

* * *

_It was a very tiring day but at last, they're free to roam around the city after such an intense training, before going back to their home. Rin took his time to stroll around in the mall with Sousuke as he couldn't stand the heat outside anymore. Besides, he wanted to buy some new clothes and maybe a gift for Haruka who's waiting for him for a week at home alone. He could still remember the raven-haired boy's pouting face when he insisted to go to the training camp since it's a compulsory event._

_"What are you thinking, smiling to yourself like an idiot, Rin ?", Sousuke suddenly asked, breaking Rin's thoughts about Haruka._

_"Oi, Sousuke ! Don't just suddenly start a conversation when I'm daydreaming !", Rin whined then muttered, " I missed Haru already..."_

_'Nanase again...', Sousuke thought then continued talking. "So, where are we going ?"_

_"_ _Come on, Sousuke ! This is a city well-known for its fashion trend ! Can't you already guess from that ?", Rin said in excitement._

 _"_ _I don't even know that this is a city well-known for its fashion trend…", Sousuke explained with a frown on his face._

 _"_ _Geez… You're just the same with Haru in this. Sometimes you should be aware with the fashion trend, you know… What's the harm in reading fashion magazines once in a while ?", Rin said then let out a sigh._

 _"_ _Don't lump me in with that water-freak ! I'm not that plain, okay.", Sousuke defended his self, feeling annoyed. He really hates it when people said that he and Haruka is alike – he hates Haruka and he swore that he won't ever like him._

 _"_ _Geez… Fine… but I like that plainness and simplicity of him. It's like everything about him is natural ! Maybe being plain and simple is his charm."_

 _"_ _How can that be a charm anyway, weirdo…", Sousuke said, giving a light smack on Rin's back._

_Since Sousuke didn't have any idea on where to go, he left the journey plan to Rin, resulting him to be dragged into Rin's shopping mania. He doesn't like it when Rin turns into a shopping-maniac shark – it's like his feminine self suddenly burst out of his self. But he doesn't hate it too. The feminine side of Rin is cute, especially when they're having sex, when Rin's sulking, crying, excited and being selfish. The only thing that he doesn't really enjoy is when Rin drag him everywhere in the mall non-stop. Where did Rin got that lots of energy ? – Sousuke doesn't know. Even so, he loves hanging out just with Rin. At least it makes him feel like they're still in a relationship, even if it's just in his mind. Sousuke's thoughts suddenly stopped as he accidentally bumped Rin's back._

_"_ _What's wrong, Rin ?",Sousuke asked._

 _"_ _I just smelled something new but familiar.",Rin said, trying to figure out where the smell comes from._

 _"_ _What is that supposed to mean ? I don't get it…", Sousuke replied, frowning._

_Rin continued walking towards the source of the smell, following the scent intently. All that Sousuke can do is just following him until he reached his desired destination. The source of the scent is coming from a small outlet situated just 2 fashion shops away from the spot they stopped before. 'I wonder how Rin could catch the smell from a shop that far ? Is he a dog ?', Sousuke thought. Rin entered the shop as soon as they arrived in front of it, looking around at the items sold in the small yet elegant shop. He kept walking until he found the item that perked his interest just now – a blue-coloured perfume contained in a beautiful dolphin-shaped bottle._

_"_ _May I help you, sir ?", a woman who looks around her mid-twenty politely._

 _"_ _I would like to buy this perfume. How much does it cost ?", Rin asked._

 _"_ _It's 3000 yen per bottle."_

 _"_ _I'll take it. Can you please wrap it ? I would like to give this to a special person.", Rin said, happily._

 _"_ _Sure. Please wait for a while.", the woman replied with a smile._

_While waiting for the perfume to be wrapped, Rin continued walking around the shop, observing all the items displayed in the shop while humming. His gaze stopped at the sight of a cute dolphin-shaped metal pendant hanging from a necklace. 'Should I buy this one too for Haru ?',Rin thought, staring at the necklace. 'Hmm… but Haru doesn't like accessories…' With that thought, Rin walked away from the necklace display shelf, making his way towards Sousuke who is waiting obediently in front of the shop._

_"_ _Hey, Rin. Are you seriously going to buy that crap ?", Sousuke asked as he saw Rin walking towards him._

 _"_ _Yep. It smells like Haru."_

 _"_ _Huh ? How can that perfume smells like him ? Nanase doesn't use any perfume, right ? The only scent he has on him is that lingering chlorine smell."_

 _"_ _No. I mean… This thing somehow resembles him. Its smell is not too weak neither it's too strong. It's like… an intermediate between that. It's a neutral one. Besides, it gives a refreshing, energetic yet calming feeling. Just taking a sniff of it makes me feel healed.", Rin explained in a tone sounding like a kid telling an exciting story._

 _"_ _Huh ? I don't get it. Won't Nanase be angry if you spend your money just for this ?", Sousuke said, reminding Rin about his promise with Haruka. Saying that doesn't mean that he cares about Haruka's feeling; he just doesn't like it when Rin is willing to do anything for Haruka._

 _"_ _Geez… Haruka bought one for me too. The design style looks the same too but mine's a shark. If he can buy one for me then why can't I buy one for him ?", Rin said while pouting._

 _"_ _Well… Do whatever you want to…"_

 _"_ _He should take it as a return for his gift. By the way, don't you want to buy anything ? It seems like I'm the only one shopping since the first shop we entered."_

 _"_ _I already bought something. You're just too busy shopping that you didn't even realize anything happen around you.", Sousuke replied, crossing his arms._

 _"_ _Ahaha… Is that so ? Sorry~"_

 _"_ _Somehow I could understand why Nanase doesn't like to go to a mall with you.", Sousuke mocked his crimson-haired ex-boyfriend._

* * *

 _"_ _What is this ?", Haruka asked with a frown as Rin handed him an elegant-looking blue box._

 _"_ _Your present, obviously…", Rin replied, feeling a bit irritated with Haruka's reaction._

 _"_ _I thought you've promised me not to waste your money on things like this. There's not even any anniversaries or celebrations today.", Haruka said the let out a sigh._

 _"_ _Geez… Haru~ Can't you just take it ?", Rin whined._

 _"_ _Fine… but only this time.", Haruka said in defeat, his hands busy trying to unwrap the box._

_Rin took a look at his boyfriend who is concentrating on unwrapping the gift he bought and thought that Haruka looks so cute. 'You said that but you actually like it don't you ? You look like a kid who just got a birthday present, you know…', Rin thought, smiling to himself. As Haruka finally opened the box, his expression turned stoic again._

_"_ _What is this ?",Haruka asked in his trademark monotonic voice._

 _"_ _A perfume ?", Rin replied, feeling weird with Haruka's reaction._

 _"_ _Am I that stink for you to buy this thing for me ?", Haruka muttered, sounding disappointed._

_Upon hearing Haruka's words, Rin burst into laughter, resulting Haruka to pout before changing his sitting position, looking away from Rin. The black-haired boy's answer was just unexpected. Besides, there's no way he bought it because Haruka stinks; Haruka doesn't even have a smell aside of the chlorine smell clinging to him as the result of soaking in water too much. Rin moved closer to where Haruka is sitting then hugged him from his back, resting his head on Haruka's right shoulder while his hands are busy tracing his lover's collarbone._

_"_ _Haru~ Are you angry ?", Rin asked playfully._

 _"_ _I'm not…"_

 _"_ _Then you're sulking."_

 _"_ _I'm not…"_

 _"_ _Come on, Haru~ I didn't buy that perfume because you stink. You don't have a smell aside from your beloved water's chlorine smell to begin with.", Rin explained, trying to coax Haruka. "It's just… the perfume smells like you."_

 _"_ _But you just said that I don't have any smell other than chlorine…"_

 _"_ _I meant the characteristics of the smell. They're just like you. Not too weak and not too strong and it makes me feel energized, calm and healed every time I took a breath of it. Doesn't that somehow resembles you ?", Rin said in an irresistible sweet voice and he's sure that Haruka is blushing by now even if Haruka is not facing him._

 _"_ _I-I don't feel like… there's any resemblance…", Haruka replied, stuttering as he felt like his heart is melting and his face is burning – Rin's sweet talks are really Haruka's weakness._

 _"_ _Well, maybe you can't feel it from your point of view… but from mine, I could feel that…", Rin said then kissed Haruka's nape._

* * *

'Memory is indeed a nice place to stay, if it's a good one though…', Rin thought as he came back to his painful reality. Rin took a deep breath to calm his mind – he really needs to put his mind to rest so that he won't get crazy with all of the things happening around him. The inevitable memories of Haruka and him which always come flooding in his mind whenever he's thinking about Haruka are already poisoning him and when added with Haruka's condition in the hospital and the facts that his own boyfriend hides a lot of things from him, he felt like he's dying inside. Once again, Rin felt like he was going to cry throughout the night. 'What's going on ?', 'What had probably gone wrong ?' – all sorts of questions started to surface in his mind and the biggest question Rin had thought is, 'Don't Haru trust me ?'. Among all of the questions derived from the situation he's in right now, that question had haunted his mind a lot. It hurts him a lot to think that his own boyfriend whom he had been living with under the same roof for 6 years doesn't have his trust on him at all.

Rin went out of the car then made his way into his house, heading to the bedroom where he used to sleep in with Haruka. He immediately threw his tired and heavy body on the bed as soon as he reached the side of it – the room and the bed are unusually cold but the faint Haruka's scent is still there and it's enough – barely enough – for Rin to feel comfortable and drift off to the dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, come on, Rin... Trust doesn't exist one-way !


	9. Chapter 9

It was 2 a.m. and Rin just got home after spending his time with Sousuke in his apartment. He walked into the bathroom awkwardly as his ass felt terribly painful – the result of him having sex with Sousuke. 'Damn… Sousuke was too rough… How am I going to work tomorrow ?', Rin complained in his mind. Some red marks revealed their selves as Rin removed his clothes one by one. 'More importantly… How am I going to hide these marks from Haru ?', Rin thought then soaked his tired and sore body into the water.

'He's sleeping, huh ? How unusual…', Rin thought as he stepped into the bedroom. He had taken an unusually long time in the bathroom, thinking about how to hide the effects from the sex he had with Sousuke. It was easy to do it when he was still studying since Haruka was not as caring as he is by now. Rin doesn't even realize when Haruka had turned into a quite feminine person, not physically but from his attitude and habits. If Haruka was a female, Rin is sure that lots of guys out there would be happy to take him as their wife since he can do all the house chores perfectly despite having a career. Slowly, Rin placed himself beside Haruka, lying on his side with his face facing Haruka. Since he started working, looking at Haruka's sleeping face is not a regular routine anymore since he always come back late and Haruka always sleep later than him. 'Cute as always…', Rin thought then bring his left hand to caress his cheek. As soon as the hand come in contact with Haruka's cheek, Rin instantly sits up – Haruka's cheek felt too cold on his skin.

"H-hey… Haru…", Rin said while his hands gently shaking his body in order to wake him up but there is no response from the smaller male. Rin then tried to search for his pulse but he couldn't sense anything. "H-Haru… This is not funny…", Rin said, his voice started to sound shaky as his tears starting to flow out of his eyes. He switched on the light to take a good look at Haruka's face and to his despair, then person beside him looks too pale to be alive.

"Haru ! Wake up !"

* * *

"Haru !", Rin shouted as he jolted awake, tears streaming down his cheeks and his heart beating like he was just sprinting. "I-it was a dream… Hah… Thank goodness…", Rin muttered, his breathing is still unsteady. Rin focused his blurry eyesight at the clock placed on the head of the bed; it was just 5 a.m. but he didn't feel like he is going to continue his sleep anymore. That dream was the worst dream he had ever experienced in his life. Rin walked out of his room with his phone in his hand, heading to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water to refresh himself.

_"Actually, I'm disappointed of you, Rin-chan."_

Nagisa's words from the restaurant last night suddenly hit his memory.

_"I thought you promised to take care of Haru-chan. But what happened was not as I expected from you."_

Then another sentences of words from that same person hit him like an atomic bomb, leaving him in despair. Nagisa might be a happy-go-lucky person all of the time but when he gets serious, his personality seems like changing and he usually tends to say anything he want to say that time, ignoring the other's feeling. Rin understood that Nagisa said those words because he loves Haruka so he kept his defense and offense off during that situation, accepting his own mistakes as that was the right thing he should do. Trying to fight Nagisa's words will only make him appear as a stupid egoist person. He felt so stupid and guilty for not understanding his lover, for not trying to know him even deeper and for not protecting him. Rin jolted at the sudden buzz of his phone – it is an incoming call from Nagisa. 'This is going to be hurt…', Rin lamented in his mind then answers the call.

"What's up, Nagisa ? Want to rip my heart apart even more ?", Rin greet dryly then take a gulp of the mineral water he had poured into the glass.

"Ehehe… I'm not… though I might did that later in this conversation. Tehee~"

"Don't 'tehee' me… You're going to torture me throughout this conversation, right ?"

"Not really… I… want to say sorry for what happened back then. I was just kind of frustrated.", Nagisa replied with a guilty tone.

"Well… I was wrong too… I'm sorry for not taking care of him… even though he's my boyfriend."

"You mean, 'husband'. You are already married, Rin ! You should call him your husband !"

"Th-There's no way I'm going to call him that !", Rin protested with his face flushing in red. It's true that they're already married – they even held a small ceremony for it – but he still can't overcome the hurdle to call Haruka his husband – even calling Haruka his boyfriend without flustering took him a year. Besides, Haruka resembles a wife to him, so calling him husband won't fit that personality of him.

"Hehe… I bet your face is red right now~", Nagisa said playfully, teasing Rin.

"I'm not !", Rin raised his voice. "By the way, besides apologizing, what's the purpose of this call ? I don't think you'll call me just to say sorry. I'm sure you're going to torture me."

"Eeh ? You made me seem like a bad person, Rin-chan~~", Nagisa whined.

"Come on… Spill it already, Nagisa…"

"I want to talk about Haru-chan… I miss him… I come to his place every day. If I don't come to eat, then I come to ask about him or for his opinion for my work. Even though he acts like he doesn't like my presence, he still accepts me coming there every day and helps me with my works."

"Isn't that how Haru always act ? He just doesn't know how to show his feelings. He should just said that he likes you coming there.", Rin said then smiled to himself even though there's a bit of sadness welling deep inside his heart.

"Yeah… but Rin-chan… Sometimes, he can't conceal his feelings completely. Have you tried taking a peek at him when he's sitting alone doing nothing ?"

"No… You 'do' know that I'm always busy with my works, right ? I go to work at 7 a.m. and usually I come back home around 1 a.m. and when there are emergency calls, I have to leave. Sometimes I have to stay over at Sousuke's place too.", Rin explained while walking towards the living room, wanting to rest his body on the comfortable couch.

"That must be hard... How can you love that hectic job, Rin-chan ? You don't seem to have much time to spend with Haru-chan…", Nagisa replied, resulting Rin to let out a sigh before replying to Nagisa's words.

"Well, it's a fun job since it's challenging, Nagisa. I can't think of any work that will give me enough thrills than this one ! It's not like I abandoned Haru because of my work… Well… it's true that I'm always busy… but… I guess I still have time to spend with him… though it's barely enough time… and he doesn't seem to mind about my working hours, so that's okay."

"Do you really think it's okay ? You even started to forget important dates recently. Do you think that's okay ?"

"Well… I know-"

"What do you know, Rin-chan ? Do you know that Haru-chan had always refrain his true feelings just because he doesn't want to be a hindrance to you ? He understands that you love your job, that's why he gives in. You should see how his face shows his longing for you when he's alone.", Nagisa said. His tone doesn't sound like he's angry but instead, it just sounds like he's trying to pull out Rin's interest in searching the truth about Haruka.

"I…", Rin didn't complete his sentence as the blonde's words made him weak.

"I don't intend to talk about this any longer. You have to learn about it on your own. Remember, it's your investigation, Detective Rin-chan !", Nagisa said excitedly.

"Now I know where Haru's ridiculousness comes from… Oh, well… I'll try my best…"

"Well, if you fail this task, I'm going to take Haru-chan away from you...", Nagisa said in a serious intonation.

"W-what ? Oi... Don't just make your own decision."

"I'm serious. Leaving him in the hand of someone who doesn't even try hard to understand him will most likely break him sooner or later. I don't want that. From the situation, currently I'm the one who understands him the most since I spent my time with him more than anyone else."

"But that doesn't mean you can just take him from me ! He belongs to me !", Rin raised his voice as he felt threatened by Nagisa's words.

"Heh... Belongs to 'you' ? But do you belong to him ? Don't stupidly think that I don't know what you're hiding behind Haru-chan."

"You... what ?"

"Ah ! Anyway, Haru-chan might be having amnesia by the time he wakes up, right ? He'll be reborn as someone new. Everyone can write new things in his memory. Don't you think that anyone else will use that moment to earn Haru-chan's affection ? Everyone's going to try their luck in this game and please remember that you're not the only one who love him. Take that as an important reminder."

"Tch ! I'm not going to lose...", Rin replied, feeling so irritated. He hated to admit it but the probability that the situation Nagisa said will occur is pretty high.

"Heh... Well said. Good Luck~~ Search for any clues from the journal first then read the other remaining unrelated things later when you have your time. You 'have' to read and understand it or you'll end up losing~ I'll text you the password ! Ok, Rin-chan~~ Bye-bye~~", Nagisa said then hang up the call.

Rin stretched his body, relieving his numb and sore limbs before deciding to start looking for Haruka's journal as the only source of the clues leading to the incident might be from the journal – whether the journal will be any help or not is another story. He also might need it to win the game between him and Nagisa. The clue from Nagisa was, the journal is a digital one, an exclusive program he made just for Haruka as he requested for it. 'The problem is, I don't even know where he keep his laptop. I don't think I've seen him sitting in front of his laptop at home though.', Rin thought as he walked upstairs, heading to an extra room; a room where Haruka usually stays alone whenever Rin wasn't home and Rin doesn't know about it. As he pushed the door open, he switched on the light then his eyes widened at the sight of the room's interior – the room is full of things that Rin didn't expect to be there, except for the tools Haruka might use for painting. "I thought this room is empty…", Rin muttered, walking in wonder around the room, observing all the things in it then stopped in at a corner of the room. "Home studio ? Is he recording his own song or what ?", Rin muttered, feeling a bit puzzled as he can't imagine that Haruka is secretly a singer or a composer.

It's not like his voice is bad but Haruka had never sing out loud in front of Rin, not after the last time he sang during his last cultural festival in Iwatobi High School – he was forced to participate by Nagisa though. After living with him, Rin realized that sometimes Haruka hums or sings to his favourite songs whenever he's too concentrated on doing his works, especially when he's cooking or drawing but he'll immediately turn quiet as he realized Rin's presence in his workspace. Rin had never argued with him about that as he understands that Haruka needs his own space to be himself to the fullest. 'But I wish you could sing a song just for me though… with that calming voice of yours…', Rin thought, looking at a number of musical instruments placed neatly just beside the shelf. "A keyboard, an acoustic and an electrical guitar ? Since when did your boyfriend immersed himself in music, Matsuoka Rin ?", Rin muttered, asking to himself then walked towards a wall where 3 portraits of him are hanging on it.

The portraits are very well done; every inch of the pictures is exactly the same as the original. The way the portraits are drawn and coloured somehow gives out different kind of feelings and Rin could feel it. 'Is this what people always say about an artist's art is a gate to the artist's feelings ?', Rin thought, his hands tracing the texture of the portrait's canvas. He's not someone who has any interest in arts since understanding something abstract is not his talent. 'Maybe that's why I couldn't understand Haru at all… I didn't try to look at him thoroughly. I didn't try to break the wall he had set.', Rin thought again, staring at the portrait in front of him with his teary eyes, hoping that the portrait will tell him more about Haruka's true hidden feelings. Among those portraits, there's only one of them being placed in a frame, only one of them with the artist in it – a portrait of a couple clad in their pure white wedding suits, hugging each other with a blissful smile on their faces. "This memory is important to you too, right ? It's the same with me… That is the happiest moment in my life."

He loves the portrait but somehow is irritated with the setting. "So you can't leave your water even in your drawing…", Rin muttered, commenting on the setting used in the portrait. "Well, I win though. Every portrait here has me inside it and all of it is about me.", Rin said again proudly as if he has won Haruka's attention battle against water. Rin knows it's stupid to fight against something that is not even alive – water is alive only for Haruka – but he couldn't help it. The way his lover gives his full affection towards his beloved water makes him jealous. Even after they get married, Haruka had never left his long bath time habit, always taking his chance to soak inside the bathtub for as long as he wanted even though Rin had told him to drop that habit. Haruka is very devoted to his love in water.

Rin then walked towards something that else that really caught his attention; something hidden underneath a white fabric. As he pulls the cloth away, he found out that there are another portraits stacked underneath it. 'Why are they being hidden ?', he thought then took a portrait situated on the topmost of the stack – a portrait with Sousuke and him in it, looking so happy laughing together, Sousuke's left arm wrapping the crimson-haired guy's waist lovingly while his right hand playing with his crimson hair, and on top of that, Rin is hugging Sousuke like he is someone very important in his life.

"W-wait… What is this supposed to mean ?", Rin stuttered, his tears suddenly flows without him realizing why. He doesn't know how to understand that portrait and how to feel with the scene in it at all, yet he's crying. The salty river flowing out of his eyes is unfathomable just like the portrait. Why did Haruka paint something like this ? Rin doesn't understand it but he could feel the artist's feelings conveyed through the image– a feeling where the artist feels like he shouldn't have interfered with the scene, a feeling where he should let the one he loves to be happy with someone else. "Seriously, why do your arts very excellent in conveying your true feelings instead of you ?", Rin murmured.

The answer to his question is obvious; Haruka always put all his feelings in his arts. His arts are the reflections of his heart. They're one of his only ways to let out his pent up feelings without having to bother talking about them to other people. Manipulating the colour palettes had simply become his most favourite method in conveying his feelings as he learned that different colour palette combinations will produce different mood and emotion in his arts. Since he's not someone who can easily tell his feelings to others, he accepted the canvas, brushes and colours, letting them to take away part of his emotional burden so that he can go through his days with a clearer mind.

Rin gathered his strength to pick another portrait, and this time, it is a portrait where Rin is kissing Sousuke while hugging Haruka, with his hand covering the shortest guy's eyes. The portrait doesn't require Rin to think deeper as it tells him a very clear message, a message he feared – Haruka's realization on his lies. The last portrait is a picture of the artist himself; drowning in the water he loves, crying with his eyes closed calmly while carving a smile on his face. With blue being the only colour used in it, the art really shows the artist's creativity in manipulating the colour. It's stunningly beautiful but in the same time, it's heart-wrenching – at least for Rin. Different people might interpret different opinion on the picture but seeing the portrait, Rin couldn't help but spilling his tears more than he had done before. Haruka is hurt. He's hurting. And he's hurting because of him. "Why am I so stupid…? Why didn't I stop the lies earlier…? No… Why did I lied in the first place ?", Rin asked between his now turned loud sobs. He felt so guilty for hurting his own life partner and for not realizing that the guy who was always supporting him with his smiles, loyalty and love had been putting on a façade so that Rin wouldn't know that he's suffering. "Haru… I'm sorry… I really love you… I don't love Sousuke… more than he should be to me…"


	10. Chapter 10

> From : Nagisa
> 
> Subject : Password- StupidRinRin
> 
> Rin-chan~~ Here's the password ! Supposedly, there'll be a login menu page when you click open the program. You should choose to login as Matsuoka Rin. It'll be more interesting that way ! Haru-chan somehow managed to alter my program on his own ! Isn't he genius ?

* * *

''StupidRinRin' ? Seriously, Haru ? It feels like I'm going to admit myself stupid if I enter this password…', Rin thought, staring at the word in annoyance, while walking his way to his office room. The officers he met along his way to his room didn't greet him much, looking from the way Rin appeared that day – he didn't look like his normal charming and charismatic self. His hair is slightly messy and his eyes look even scarier than usual. He looks like someone who had been taking care of his child or someone who had been mourning for the death of his wife overnight. Since he requested Haruka's case to be a secret, not all staffs in the police station knows about it. Only those who involved in the incident that night knew about it and understand his condition. Some of them suggested that Rin shouldn't been given permission to get fully involved with the investigation of the incident though, since having someone to investigate a case related to his personal life has its pros and cons. From the bright side, he will have the motivation to do his job properly in order to capture the criminal and from the bad side, he will do the job only driven fully his feelings, ignoring the ethics he should follow as a professional police officer. Rin let out a heavy sigh then pushed open the door of his shared office, entering the average-sized room.

"Yo ! Morning !", Sousuke greeted as Rin stepped into the room, stopping the work he's currently doing for a while.

"Morning…", Rin replied lazily, putting his bag on his desk then moved a few steps heading to the sofa not far from his desk.

"So… What happened ?"

"Huh ?"

"You look unusually pathetic today."

"Tch… Do I look that bad ?"

"Yeah… You look like a husband who had just being left by his wife. Well, that's half true though.", Sousuke replied with a smirk then continued talking. "By the way, sorry about that day… during our visit to Nanase's ward room. I…"

"Well… It's okay, Sousuke. I think I'll feel the same if I were in your place. If Haru had chosen to be with Makoto instead of me, I'd feel the same too.".

"So, Rin ? Found any clue yet ?", Sousuke asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

"Unfortunately, I found nothing much. Haru's secrecy level is way top notch to my annoyance ! All Nagisa told me was he have a digital journal kept in his personal laptop.", Rin said in an irritated tone.

"Owh… He's writing a journal ? That's new. Anything else ?", Sousuke asked, trying to get Rin to tell him everything happened. He knows that Rin is pretty stressed, so he wanted to be someone who could hear his problems out even though he might not be able to replace Haruka's place.

"Makoto… He had sex with Haru. He forced it on him though. I can't believe he did that !"

"That gentle-looking guy ? Hmm… Surprising…"

"And… Haru… I found his paintings in an extra room in my house. It seems like he knew about us… but he kept quiet.", Rin said, leaning his back comfortably on the sofa.

"I already know that he knew though…", Sousuke murmured to himself.

"What did you say ?", Rin asked as he couldn't hear Sousuke's words clearly.

"It's nothing. Oh ! I almost forgot. The semen sample result came out yesterday.", Sousuke said, changing the topic.

"Really ? So, how's the result ?", Rin asked excitedly, turning his head to face Sousuke, staring at him with full of intent. He really needs to know about the result. Sousuke didn't say anything but shook his head to Rin's question. "Is it…"

"The lab couldn't recognize the owner of the semen sample as they're awfully mixed. Seems like they gang-raped him."

"Damn it !", Rin cursed. Now he had lost his chance to investigate the case fast and if luck is not on his side, the case might be hold longer. He took some deep breaths to calm his heart then walked over to his working desk to start his work. Even though they're currently investigating, they still need to do their usual hectic jobs. For a city with a pretty high crime rate, the police station seems to have unbelievably not enough staffs – despite actually having lots of them – to handle the daily cases occurring in the city.

"Sousuke, let's go to Haru's restaurant this afternoon break. We need to find the journal fast.", Rin suggested.

* * *

No matter how many times they had stepped into the restaurant, the number customers coming to dine in had never settled down – Rin and Sousuke are lucky that they had booked a table for them earlier that morning. Rin and Sousuke made their way to their reserved table, ignoring the persistent stares coming from the customers seated along the way. 'Seriously, it's not like there's no other person to stare at in this restaurant, right ?", Rin thought, feeling so irritated with the situation while Sousuke just walked without any care. Whether Rin realized it or not, they had been the talk of most of the girls around the area they worked in, especially the fujoshis. Seeing two super good-looking guys being together for almost all of the time is not a usual sight they can get around the neighborhood. They even created some pairing groups among them and the most popular pairing is the SouRin pairing since they are always seen together. Besides, a majority of them thought that Sousuke and Rin are perfect for each other like they're really created to be partners in their life.

Saying that Haruka doesn't know anything about the pairing groups is absolutely wrong. He is indeed a quiet person but he is pretty sensitive to his surroundings – it's safe to say that no gossips passed without him knowing. Somehow the pairing groups had affect him more than he thought he would, making him to lose his confidence in himself being Rin's life partner since all that they said was, 'Sousuke is perfect for Rin.'. Haruka is jealous yet he couldn't do anything about it since he had tried his best and all he could do to be perfect for Rin that he doesn't know what else to do anymore. He also didn't miss hearing bad gossips about him, saying that he's a disturbance in Sousuke's and Rin's relationship, saying that he better stays away from them but all that he could do is ignoring those words, hoping that they're just stupid talks like they should have been. Until the day Rin tells him directly that he wanted to be with Sousuke instead of him, he'll keep on facing those words with all his heart's might. When the time comes where Rin decided to leave, Haruka won't stop him – he'll set him free.

As they're sitting on the chair, a familiar cheerful voice greeted from afar. "Rin~~ Sousuke~~"

"Kisumi…", both of them muttered dryly as they saw the one calling for them. Nothing good would come with Kisumi around since all he does when hanging out with them is telling embarrassing stuffs that happened during their school days. Eagerly, the guy with his rare almost pinkish peach-coloured hair walked towards the table with his usual happy-go-lucky expression.

"There's no empty seat here.", both Rin and Sousuke said as he reached the table.

"Eeh ? Is this supposed to be a mad hatter tea party ?", Kisumi asked as he heard them, resulting a certain someone to frown.

"Mad hatter… tea party ? Rin, what's that ?", Sousuke asked.

"Seriously, Sousuke ! Haven't you heard about the story 'Alice In Wonderland' ?", Rin replied.

"Poor Sousuke… I couldn't imagine how dull your childhood was. It must have been hard on you.", Kisumi said, motioning his hands as if he's wiping his tears, earning a deadly glare from the whale shark but that is not enough to stop him. "It's okay, Sou-chan~ Next time, I'll read the story for you ! I can also read the princesses stories if you want to~", he said again then winked mischievously at the largest guy in the group.

"You…", Sousuke growled.

"Now… now… Don't start a fight here, would you ?", Rin interrupted as he didn't want to get any more attention than they already have – he could somehow hear some girls squealing at the sight of them making stupid conversations. Without thinking about the annoyed Sousuke, Kisumi pulled out a chair then sit beside him like nothing happened. Shortly, a waiter walked towards their table then took their orders as none of them ordered anything yet. As usual, Rin would ask for any western food to eat, Sousuke is fine with his usual extra-large-sized pork bowl and Kisumi would just randomly pick something to eat for the day.

"Hey, Rin.", Kisumi called for Rin's attention as the waiter walked away from the table.

"Hmm ?"

"Where's Haru ?", Kisumi asked curiously.

"Huh ? Why are you asking for him ?", Rin replied.

"You see… I've been coming to this restaurant since yesterday but the staffs here said that he's still taking a leave. I came to your house too but it seems like no one's home. He didn't even answer my calls…", Kisumi explained but instead of replying, Rin just keep staring at the table. He didn't have his strength to explain what happened to his beloved husband anymore – it makes him feels sick. "Uh… Sousuke ?", he passed the question to the man beside him. Sousuke was quiet at first, exchanging some signs with Rin to ask his permission to tell the real story Kisumi then started to explain the situation to him as the shark gave his permission.

"Before I tell you, promise me that you won't tell anyone else or I'll gouge out your voice box.", Sousuke said, trying to get the blue-eyed guy beside him to agree.

"Wow… Okay, okay… My fans would be sad if I lost my voice. This sounds like something top secret."

"About Nanase. He's in the hospital right now."

"Eeh ? What happened ? Why don't you tell me earlier ?"

"Lower down your volume, would you ? He was attacked by some criminals and… well… they gang-raped him and beat him into pulp. He might be dead if Rin hadn't found him early. For now, the only motive we deduced from the incident is grudge by looking at the way they carved some cursing words on his body. And of course... We can't just tell anyone that he's still alive. He'll be in risk if they knew about this.", Sousuke explained, keeping his voice low so that the other customers won't hear their conversation.

"That's so cruel ! How's Haru right now ? How's my twin doing ? Is he okay ?", Kisumi asked. Rin let out a sigh as he heard Kisumi's non-stop question. 'This guy doesn't know when to stop talking...', he thought, staring at Kisumi.

"He's pretty much fine.", Sousuke replied while Rin keeps staring at Kisumi.

Rin had realized it since the first time he met Haruka – Haruka's and Kisumi's looks are kind of alike. His blue eyes which only differs from the blue colour tone look almost the same but he's not even close to beat Haruka's eyes. Aside from that, everything about Kisumi differs from Haruka, especially his personality. While he is someone clingy to others and talks a lot, Haruka is someone who gets tired when dealing with people and talks way too less. 'A happy version of Haru, huh ? I wonder how would it feel living with a happy-go-lucky Nanase Haruka…', Rin thought, his eyes still focusing on Kisumi.

"Oi, Rin ! I understand that he's my twin, but don't stare at me like that ! What are you going to do if you fall in love with me ?", Kisumi said as he realized that Rin is staring at him.

"Hah ? Me falling in love with you ?! Ugh… There's no way that's going to happen ! It's a nightmare…", Rin quickly denied Kisumi's words.

"Ahahaha ! Rin's reaction ! Hahaha ! I love that annoyed face !", Kisumi said while laughing his heart out.

"Shut the hell up, Kisumi ! You haven't even answered my question !"

"Hahahaha… Sorry, sorry~ Well, I'm searching for him since our collaborative kaodashi will be held soon. If I do that without him, the fans will attack me with their endless questions."

"Kaodashi ? That Nico Nico Douga's live streaming ?", Rin asked curiously.

"Yep ! Exactly !", Kisumi said, while helping the waiter to put on their foods and drinks on the table. "My favourite salad is here~~ I never thought that he will put this thing in his menu !"

"If I recall… someone from your class said that you fed him, right ?", Sousuke asked, starting to dig in his favourite food.

"Yep ! He looked so cute back then. That innocent face of him when the rest of class stared at us was the best~~"

The lunch was filled with lots of chattering and laughs thanks to the presence of the peach-haired guy, though he sometimes said things they didn't really want to hear. From Kisumi's story, the first time he did a kaodashi with Haruka 4 years ago after Haruka lost in a game they played together and has to follow whatever the winner said as punishment. Haruka was hesitant at first but finally agreed as Kisumi's second punishment was to dress as a girl to class – there's no way he's going to humiliate himself like that. Though he didn't really like the idea of imitating Kisumi, he was glad that his identity is going to be a secret in the live streaming and maybe he could try a new way to have fun. Since that, unknown to Kisumi, he started to create an account in the site with his username 'Yuu', written in a kanji that means gentleness or devoted. He uploads his cover songs once in a while, gaining popularity step by step. It was only 3 years ago that Kisumi finally knows about his account and started to collaborate with him every month. Sometimes they sing, sometimes the dance and sometimes they just have some trivial chats.

"Do you want a copy of our kaodashi practices, Rin ?", Kisumi said, giving a wink at Rin, resulting the crimson orbs to widen in excitement.

"W-Well… It's not like I really want to… but… I won't mind to watch…", Rin replied, sounding a bit hesitated.

"Tsundere Rin-Rin~ You're lucky that I bring my pen drive today !", he said again, mocking Rin while handing over the tiny item to Rin.

"Th-Thank you..."

"You're welcome~ By the way, I really have to go now, so bye-bye~~ Let's have another chat next time ! Tell me when you're going to visit him, okay ?", the noisy guy said then walked out of the restaurant.

Rin and Sousuke didn't say anything but just waved their hands towards Kisumi. As soon as he disappeared from their sight, both of them let out a sigh – hanging with Kisumi for 20 minutes feels like 2 hour with his non-stop chattering. It was draining their energy but at least Rin got another new info about Haruka who is also an online artist. 'Seriously, just how many things did you get involved in ?', Rin thought while sipping his apple juice. He changed his gaze from his glass to the person sitting in front of him, his crimson eyes giving a sign to the owner of the turquoise eyes to follow him.

"It's time to start searching."


	11. Chapter 11

Haruka slowly opened his eyes as he felt a very bright light suddenly shining on him. Gradually, his eyesight managed to adapt with the surrounding, and he found out that he's waking up in a different place than before. Before, it was all darkness surrounding him but this time, he's lying on a bench with his head resting on someone's lap in a beautiful garden full of flower with a beautiful river flowing calmly through the garden.

"Good morning, Haruka.", she greeted the sleepy boy, her hands caressing his head gently.

"Good morning, grandma… Where am I ?", Haruka asked, still lying down on the bench with his eyes closed as he feels very comfortable with his grandmother's caresses.

"Maybe somewhere between your life and death ?"

"Am I going to die ?"

"Do you want to ?", she asked.

Honestly, he wouldn't mind staying in the death realm with his grandmother since everything he had experienced in his life previously won't bother him anymore. He'll finally be free from any restrictions, free from anyone's demands, free from anyone's expectations, free from the binds that were tying him up in his life but strangely, he doesn't want all of those by the time being. The old him would most probably accept death as the best choice to take by now but the new him won't – he won't run away from his problems like his old self but instead, he's going to face them head on no matter how hard and painful it will be. After all, he has someone to come back to, someone whom he needs to take care of, someone whom he needs to help and a place to stay until his time to go really comes.

"I… don't want to… Not right now…", Haruka answered.

"Care to tell me why ?"

"There's… someone… I want to be with… just a bit longer…", Haruka said hesitantly as he felt very awkward telling the older woman about his real feeling – he had never talked about it to his family members, especially about love.

"That person… It's Matsuoka Rin-kun, right ?", she said.

"Y-yeah…", Haruka answered, his cheeks are painted with a faint colour of red.

"I wish I had met him before I pass away. What kind of person is him to you ?", his grandmother said, looking at Haruka with her loving gaze.

"He's a grumpy, stubborn and selfish person. Always so demanding when it comes to things he wants to do or have. Despite his grumpy appearance, he's actually a big crybaby. The biggest one I've met in my life.", Haruka said honestly.

"Oh my… Sounds like a troublesome person.", she commented then chuckled.

"He is… but he's actually a caring person. He's always being over protective towards me as if I'm too fragile."

"I've been watching over you all this time. You've changed.", the old woman said with a smile on her face. Never did she think that this weird grandson of her will turn into a very fine young man though still quite far from perfect. She was indeed felt a bit worried about Haruka's personality back then – how anti-social he is, how stoic he is, how uninterested he is in almost everything, how stubborn he is when it comes to stand for his decision. While most of the elderly around the neighbourhood praises him for being a good and polite boy, most of his classmates criticize him, saying that he's arrogant, that he doesn't like being friends with anyone but some people who gets to know him closely knows that those rumors are not true at all – Haruka is just a person who doesn't know how to express his feelings.

"Changed… huh ?", he muttered then turned silent. He shut his eyes close as the cool breeze blew past him gently, feeling the freshness of the air that calms his mind. It's not the first time he heard such statement but he doesn't really see where the changes are and even if there are changes in him, the changes aren't so big that people should be concerned at – the only big change he experienced is turning soft after marrying Rin. Different from Haruka in the past, the new Haruka is someone who would always give in whenever he started to fight with Rin and someone who would help anyone in need without any questions. In the past, helping people, especially strangers feels like a bother to him but it's different by now. He also could still remember his old stubborn self when it comes to arguing with Rin – once they started to argue about something, none of them will give up the fight. When Rin raises his voice, Haruka would also raise his voice to fight him. Their fights would sometimes last for months; the shortest was a week. They won't meet, contact or talk to each other until one of them decided to lose. Even when they coincidentally walk beside each other, none of them will greet and bother to take a look at each other.

"Grandma… Do you think that I'll be able to hold on any longer ?"

"You'll be just fine. It's you we're talking about anyway. The most stubborn grandson I had ever raised up.", his grandmother said, pinching Haruka's cheek lightly.

"Pfft… I'm sorry then…", Haruka said, smiling.

"But dear, no matter how strong your heart is, there'll be the time when you'll reach your limit.", she said, looking deep into his grandson's pair of blue eyes, wanting the younger person to understand what she really means by those words. "Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish. Say anything you want. Ask for anything. Even you have something you really want to do or have, right ? Wanting something your heart desires is normal, Haruka. You're a human being after all.", she said again while her hand caressing Haruka's cheek. Acting strong is Haruka's habit; she realized it since the day when his parents left him because of their relationship problems. Instead of feeling sad or throwing tantrum with the situation like a normal kid, Haruka accepted it easily, saying that it can't be helped. He kept on living like his normal self, like nothing had happen before but his grandmother didn't feel right about it – something felt odd.

And then, there was one day when he finally break down. It was during winter, he was just 8 when he suddenly went missing after his usual morning walk. All of the villagers tried their best to find him and even contacted the police to help searching for him in every crook of the small town. It was only after 5 hours that they found him lying unconscious in cold in the deepest part of the forest. When she asked why he did something reckless like that, he only said that no one needs him so he should just disappear for good. As she suspected, Haruka was not okay with his parents' decision but he kept it to himself.

'Something... my heart desires...?', Haruka thought, his chest starting to hurt. Slowly, little by little, tears started to form a pool in his eyes and soon, two small rivers begin to flow down his cheeks. Somehow, his grandmother's words had touched the deepest region of his heart, the region he had sealed away years ago – his own selfish side. He decided to cast his selfish side away after marrying Rin because he didn't want to be a nuisance to Rin – all that he wanted is to be the best for Rin, to live their lives to the fullest without any arguments. He didn't want anyone to walk away from his life anymore and he didn't want to be like his parents. 'As long as I could make Rin happy, I'll be happy too.', was what he always thought but as years passed by, he eventually became unsure of his own decision. He thought that Rin will change if he gives him the fullest attention and freedom but unfortunately, Rin's behaviors had never changed ever since they started dating – Haruka had became tired of all his acts and lies. He wanted to tell Rin about his real feelings but he's too afraid of Rin leaving him.

"I...", Haruka tried to talk but his grandmother silenced him.

"Hush… Don't talk… Cry as much as you want to…", his grandmother said while caressing his head soothingly. "Now… you should rest a bit longer, dear."

With that, Haruka drifted to sleep with tears in his eyes, soothed by the older woman's loving touch – the gentle touch he had always missed since the day she left his life forever.

* * *

"G-good evening, sir ! Here's the information you asked yesterday.", a young girl around her twenty said then handed over an A4 sized envelope to her employer.

"Ah, thanks ! You can go now.", he said.

As soon as the girl exited his room, he started to open the envelope containing the information he requested then skim through them. After a while, he started to smirk then laugh by himself, throwing away all the papers he held in his hand. The result is too exciting and fascinating to him as his play wouldn't end as early as he thought. 'All those important information is kept secret, huh ? Exciting…', the man thought, standing up from his chair then walked to the nearest large window. His subordinates' failure in getting those important information regarding the incident didn't anger him at all but instead, it makes him feel very happy. Keeping the information secret is just like a mini game for him to play with – he'll try anything he could to get what he wanted and he has lots of other resources to do that. If his subordinates still can't do the task, then he'll do it by his own hands. After all, Samezuka is not so big that he couldn't even track a single person.

"Ha…ru…ka…-chan~", he said, walking towards a book shelf where he hides a door leading to a secret room behind it. Inside, there are lots of Haruka's pictures taken secretly from different angle, at different places, pinned on the wall and even scattered on the couch, table and floor. Some of them are stabbed with small knives, torn dramatically and even already burned to ashes. He hummed happily while continuing walking towards a desk where he put his camera on. As he grabbed the camera, he turned it on then took a look at the pictures he had just recently taken. "You were calling his name all the time back then… How tragic… I told you to stay away from him, didn't I ?", he muttered with a grin in his face. He kept browsing through the pictures, grinning and laughing at times.

_"What do you want from me ?"_ , a familiar monotonic voice started to speak from the camera as he play the video file.

_"Nothing much. Let's have some fun, Nanase-kun"_

_"I don't have anything to do with all of you…"_

_"But we 'do' have something to do with you..."_

_"Get your dirty hands off me."_

As soon as the other person going to talk, he stopped the video as he has something more important to do than re-watching the video. "I could make use of this one later~", he said happily then walked out of the small room, heading to his computer to finish his earlier job. Now that he has the motivation to do his job, he wanted to do it all of them fast so that he'll have plenty of play time to spend later.

"I'll get to play with you some more, Haru-chan~ Before, we were playing tag but now we're playing hide and seek, don't we ? Ah~~ I'm so excited ! As long as you alive, I won't stop hunting you… Oh… How I missed the sight of your so-called beautiful blue eyes frozen in fear~~", he said then hummed happily.

* * *

After Sousuke and Rin finished their lunch, both of them walked towards a metal door that separates the customers' lounge from the staffs only part of the restaurant. The space behind the metal door had caught both police officers in surprise as they had never thought that it is actually so spacey. Even though this is Haruka's restaurant, Rin had never stepped inside this space and he had always thought that behind the door is the main kitchen. The door actually doesn't directly leads to the kitchen but instead, it leads to a hallway with 6 doors along the way in total and a staircase leading upstairs. As much as he remembers, Haruka once told him that his office room is situated upstairs and that saves him some time.

As they arrived in front of the office door, Rin took out the key then unlocked it. A mild scent greeted them immediately after Rin pushed the door open – Sousuke recognized the smell a lot.

"Isn't this my perfume's scent ?", Rin asked himself.

"Isn't it pretty normal ? You're rarely with him anyway. He might be using it to feel like you're here by his side.", Sousuke said, continue walking to Haruka's working table.

'Hmm... Maybe...', Rin thought but then interrupted by Sousuke.

"Ah ! You can't use Nanase's perfume in our office. It's 'our' office, not yours.", Sousuke reminded him, highlighting the word 'our' with a slight change in his voice.

"Ah...hahaha... How did you know what I'm thinking ?", Rin asked.

"It's all written in your face."

It didn't took them long to find the laptop since they somehow can predict where the dolphin keep it – in the drawer of his working table. Haruka is very suck when it comes to keeping his property safe. Most of the time, he even forgot to lock the main door when he's alone at home. It's only after Rin scolded and nagged him about it until he gets annoyed of it that he started to remember to lock the door – he still forgot to do it sometimes though. Rin couldn't blame him too much though since he had spent most of his life growing up in Iwatobi, where there is almost no crime occurs there daily. Even if he leave the house unlocked, the probability that a thief will enter his house is only 5%. It's a completely different place than Samezuka where the crime is always happening 24/7.

As Rin opened the program, a colourful user interface with some cute characters greets him at the beginning. Sousuke and Rin stared at them in amazement since they had never thought that the guy who looks like he doesn't have any feelings actually love cute things. Soon as it shows the login page, Rin entered the password that Nagisa gave him that morning. 'Stupid…RinRin… Ugh… What's with this password…', Rin complained in his mind. A cute character of Haruka suddenly walked in as he hit the enter button, making Rin to squeal internally to it. "Welcome, RinRin…", it said, resulting Sousuke to burst into laughter. "It looks like you've got the password from Nagisa. Well then, please do as you wanted." The small character then walked away from the screen while the page faded into a new menu page – on it, there are many menus listed in a restaurant-menu-book-like design.

"So, where should we start reading from ?", Rin asked.

"Try the date before the incident, 'RinRin'.", Sousuke said, saying the word 'RinRin' with a mocking tone.

Although he's kind of annoyed with it, Rin immediately clicked on the option 'Search By Date', then keyed in the date he wanted into the program. After a while, a simple-styled journal appeared on the screen with some extra options at the right side of the journal – 'Reply' and 'Listen'. Ignoring those small features, Rin continue to read the journal.

* * *

_29 June 20xx_

_Somehow, I feel very restless today. I don't understand why, but it feels like something bad will happen. When it comes to something bad… there are many things that come to my mind – Rin will die, Rin will leave me, Rin will tell me that he doesn't need me anymore, something bad happen to Rin's mother and Gou, something bad happen to Masatomo-san… lots of them. Most of them involving Rin. The least I could think is something bad happen to me. While that is the most possible answer to my uneasiness, it didn't occur to be the most frightening one to me. I wonder why…_

_If I die, I wonder if what Rin's reaction will be. Will he cry ? Will he be concerned ? I bet he'll cry a lot but Yamazaki will always there to babysit him so I'm not worried about that. Yamazaki is a good guy despite his appearance and I'm sure that he can make Rin happier than I do. He probably understands Rin more than me. If I die, Rin doesn't have to hide things from me again. He'll be free, won't he ? Isn't that great ? Living together while hiding something is difficult thing to do after all._

_Well, in the end, those are just some stupid things playing in my mind. Rin would get angry if he knows I'm thinking like this so I better stop. Better thinking on what's for dinner tonight. Rin said that he'll be home early today so I'm kind of excited... even though he might cancel that promise out of blue like he usually does. Whatever it will be, I'm looking forward to having dinner with him tonight ! So... Meat or mackerel ?_

_Tomorrow's my birthday. My 25th, huh ? I'm getting older... I wish Rin could just stay at home tomorrow. Maybe I'll ask Nagisa how to coax him. He's great in that. Well then. Happy Advanced Birthday, myself._

* * *

"Haru…", Rin murmured. Tears started to flow down from the red-haired police officer's eyes as he finished reading the journal entry. Never had he thought that Haruka will think about such things like that since he always looks like he doesn't have any worries at all. 'Idiot... How could you be bothered with what will possibly happen to others instead of yourself ?', Rin thought.

"Is this what you call 'taking someone's existence for granted' ? First time seeing this situation in front of my eyes. Now that he's gone, you finally realized that he's very important to you, huh ?"

"Oi… Don't talk as if he's dead… He's just in coma.", Rin said.

"He's not alive either. He's half-dead. Well, we can't stay here any longer. Lunch time is almost over."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I writing ? *facepalm* This is a disaster.

"Good Evening, Haru…", Makoto said as he walked towards his bed, eyes keep staring at the person who is sleeping soundlessly on it. "Of course… You can't reply…", he muttered, after he realized that he was waiting for Haruka's response. He lifted up the chair that was resting at the corner of the room then put it beside the bed for him to sit on. He decided to come and pay Haruka a visit since his shift ended early today. Besides, he hasn't seen Haruka since the day Rin called all of them to the hospital. "It had been a week, right ? You look better today.", the brunet talked to the dark-haired male in front of him, observing his serene face. Even in such condition, the male with the name Nanase Haruka still looks as beautiful as he had always been in Makoto's eyes. His eyes then travelled and focused on the dolphin's slightly pale lips that are still hiding behind the oxygen mask. 'No… I shouldn't…', Makoto thought while shaking his head as his desire tried to seduce him into kissing the sleeping beauty in front of him – when it comes to Haruka, his mind seems like losing its rationality.

Makoto moved his gaze from Haruka's face towards his smaller hand. Slowly and hesitantly, he brought both of his hands closer then wrapped them tight around it. Makoto flinched a bit as his skin came in contact with Haruka's hand as it felt slightly cold, different from the hand that he was holding back then. "Haru… I missed you…", Makoto said, his voice threatening to shake. He couldn't help it. Unlike the others, Haruka had stopped being close to Makoto for 2 months already and Makoto knows the reason – Haruka is still wary of him. Even though he still talk with Makoto whenever their usual group is chatting, it still feels so awkward than before. Others might not realize since Haruka had faked it brilliantly but Makoto could feel it. Makoto regretted his acts that day even though he wasn't himself during that time. It was his entire fault that he went overboard, forcing his feelings and desires onto the innocent person who tried to help him that night.

* * *

_It was another lonely nights without Rin by his side since he won't be back for 2 more days. Rin was assigned for a field work again since his performance in the previous field works was astounding. As always, Haruka will search for anything he can do to kill his time. Since he was painting the night before, he decided to just watch the television that night and he was lucky that the documentary show was talking about water creatures. He watched the show intently, eyes sparkling whenever some amazing creatures were shown at a closer range but what interests him the most wasn't the creatures; it's the water. "Hmm… When was the last time we swam together ?", Haruka muttered, staring at the shark-shaped plushie that he was hugging all the time while watching the television. It is one of the gifts Haruka receive from Rin on his birthday and if he recalls it right, it was a gift for his 20_ _th_ _birthday. He shifted it a bit, so that the face of the shark is facing him then talked again. "I asked you when was it…"_

_He kept silent for a few moments, stupidly waiting for an answer from the figure he was holding and of course, there was no answer, not even a sound at all. After all, he was talking to something that is not even alive. Haruka sighed at his own stupidity, bringing the plushie closer to him, hugging it tight with his face buried in it. "I missed you, idiot…", he muttered. After some times, he eventually lied on the couch, helplessly thinking about the crimson-haired man. When he thought about it, it had been a month since Rin had touched him sexually and he found himself expecting for those touches whenever Rin is back from work. He knew that he could always ask for Rin's affection but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even after reading all those mails called 'advices' sent by Nagisa, he decided that he couldn't do any of it – they're too out of character of him. Seducing is not his best forte. 'I guess I'm just as stupid as him… I should have told him… if really want to…', Haruka thought before drifting to sleep._

* * *

_"I'm home !", Rin shouted from the front door but he didn't get his usual greeting. The house was so quiet even though there is a person staying in it. Rin advanced his move from the hallway to the living room and found his favorite prey sleeping soundlessly on the couch with the television still turned on with a low volume, talking endlessly to the fast asleep dolphin. Rin turned it off then walked as quiet as he could so that the sleeping beauty wouldn't wake up. 'I got you, my prey~', Rin thought in excitement as he carefully positioned himself, trapping the smaller guy underneath him. 'You're so cute…', he thought again, smiling as he observed the facial feature of his lover. Slowly, he slipped one of his hands underneath Haruka's shirt, reaching for his nipple then rolled it between his fingers. "Hey… Wake up…", he whispered to Haruka's ears but he didn't seems to be awake by that. He only slightly moaned and shuddered to Rin's touches, his eyelids didn't show any signs to open._

_"He must be too tired today…", Rin muttered then started to lick at his nipple, teasing it a bit then sucking it, resulting Haruka to immediately wake up at the sensation. "Oh ! You're awake !", Rin said while grinning naughtily at the shocked and sleepy guy underneath him. "You should have just wake me up normally…", Haruka muttered with a hard blush on his face. Rin chuckled at his lover's reaction then kissed his cheek. "Sorry~ I just couldn't help it. You were too cute and defenseless…", Rin said then started to kiss Haruka hungrily, grinding their groins together. After some times, Rin's right hand slowly reaching to the waistband of Haruka's sweatpants, sliding the piece of cloth off his waist swiftly. Rin began to stroke Haruka's semi-hard member, earning a moan of pleasure from the smaller male. Haruka desperately pulled Rin's head closer, continuing their tongue battle even though they already knew who will be the winner. Rin's strokes starting to get faster, and Haruka helplessly keep thrusting his hips with each stroke._

_"Rin… please…", Haruka pleaded then breathe deeply for some air. "I want it… now…"_

_"Oh my… Aren't you so desperate… today ?", Rin asked with a smug face._

_"Your fault…", Haruka replied shortly._

_"Haha… My bad… Then… shall we move to bed ?", Rin said, stepping down from the couch then lifted the smaller male off the couch, bringing him bridal style to their bedroom. Haruka didn't resist or even complained about it – this Rin doesn't come often so he better appreciates and enjoys it._

_Just when they're almost reaching the bed, the sound of the doorbell started to ring endlessly. The scene suddenly started to lighten up then he found out that he is still lying on the couch, hugging his shark plushie. 'A dream…', he thought, staring at the ceiling in disappointment – the dream felt so real to him. Haruka stood up then sighed as he took a look at the tent forming in his sweatpants. 'Stupid dream…', he cursed in his mind while lazily walking to the intercom to entertain the person who has been ringing his doorbell endlessly and disturbed his sweet dream. He felt lucky that he doesn't live in a house very close to each other like an apartment or condominium or else, the neighbor would get angry._

_"Who is it ?", he asked._

_"I-It's me… Ma… Mako… to…", the person said. From the sound of it, the person is heavily drunk._

_"Wait up."_

_After a moment, Haruka opened up the door, finding his childhood friend slumped against the wall of the house. Carefully, he helped the larger man to stand up then walked into the house. As they reached the living room, he let Makoto to lie down on the couch then walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water for him._

_"Makoto… Here, drink up…", Haruka said while helping the brunet to drink the water. "Why are you drunk ?"_

_"There… was a birthday party… nearby…", Makoto said._

_"Whatever it is, you shouldn't get drunk then walk by yourself next time. You get too drunk so easily. It's dangerous.", Haruka said in concern._

_"Haru-chan… is so_ _nice…", Makoto said, staring at the guy who is sitting beside him, moving closer to the dolphin then wrapped his arms tight around him while resting his head on his right shoulder._

_"_ _What's wrong, Makoto ?", Haruka asked, puzzled with the brunet's sudden action. Makoto shook his head instead of answering the question. "You're still too drunk. Better go to sleep.", Haruka suggested but the larger male didn't move even a bit. The dolphin sighed at the orca's weird behavior then tried to slip away from the hug but he couldn't._

_"O-oi ! Makoto !", Haruka shouted as he felt the brunet's hand on his shaft while struggling to get away. "Makoto ! Stop it !"_

_Makoto didn't listen to what Haruka said, starting to change their position so that he could have the fullest access to the dolphin's body. In the slight change of movement, Haruka managed to slip away but Makoto was quick to pull him back, resulting Haruka to fall onto the couch. Makoto then pinned him down, positioning himself between his thighs so that he couldn't kick him easily in the process while his hands put on a strong force on the dolphin's wrists so that he couldn't move them as he likes._

_"Makoto !", Haruka shouted again, trying to gain his bestfriend's consciousness but failed – Makoto silenced him with a kiss._

_Haruka tried to not let Makoto gain the access into his mouth but the effort was a waste since he finally gave up when Makoto bit his lips hard. Makoto started to kiss him deeply, exploring the cavern he hasn't tried before while in the same time, his other hand was unbuckling his own belt. Haruka panicked as he heard the sound of the belt, struggling harder to get away but still, Makoto is stronger than he is. As Makoto finished removing his belt from his pants, he harshly rolled Haruka so that he's lying on his stomach, then brought his hands to his back before tying them together with the belt._

_"Makoto ! What are you doing ?!"_

_Finished tying his hands, he moved Haruka back to his original position then stared at him, admiring his beautiful features. Haruka's expression looked terrified but Makoto didn't know why, he didn't feel like stopping what he just did – his lust is overpowering him. Makoto moved closer to Haruka's face then licked his neck, slowly moving down to his collarbone. "Stop…", Haruka said, his voice starting to get shaky as his fear started to overwhelm. He didn't like this. He hated what is currently happening to him. He didn't expect this person to do such things to him and the thing he hated the most is how weak he is that he couldn't do anything to protect himself._

_Makoto found himself to be lucky since the raven-haired male is wearing a buttoned shirt by that time being. Easily, he unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the body of the person that he had always dreamed to touch that close. It was always out of his reach even though he had gotten used to seeing Haruka's naked upper half during their club activities and tournaments back then when they were in high school. Now that it is already spread in front of him, he didn't want to waste his chance. He started to devour him, licking and sometimes biting the small buds on his chest consecutively, earning some muffled moans from the owner of the body._

_He moved slowly to Haruka's lower body part, trailing his tongue down from his chest, to his navel, then stopped at the waistband of his boxer. "Makoto ! Cut it off !", the black-haired swimmer screamed. He tried his best to kick Makoto away, moving his legs as much and harsh as he could but the effort was again, futile. The bigger male wouldn't budge even a little._

_"_ _Hush… Don't be so violent, Haru-chan…", Makoto said, as if assuring the frightened Haruka with a creepy grin on his face._ _"Makoto ! Snap out of it !", Haruka demanded but Makoto continued to slip off his boxer, revealing his hard cock. "Haru-chan is hard…", Makoto grinned then started to lick the sensitive tip of his cock. He hated the situation and wanted to run away from it but the only thing he could do was letting Makoto torture him with every gesture made by Makoto's mouth and tongue on his private part._

_"M-Makoto... Stop..."_

_"What are you saying, Haru-chan...? Could you say it louder ?"_

_"I... I said sto-"_

_Makoto kissed him before he could finish his words, his hand kept massaging Haruka's groin, gradually adding speed. 'You're not... this... weak...', Haruka tried his best to gather his remaining mental strength, pushing the weight that is leaning on his body using all his strength but without his hands supporting him, Makoto could easily push him back. Finally, the brunet broke up the kiss, both of them panting for some air. The torture stopped for a while but Haruka could hear the sound coming from the zipper of Makoto's jean._

_"Makoto ! Please, stop !", Haruka shouted in panic as he saw Makoto already letting out his big hard cock out of his boxer. Makoto ignored his voice, positioning it right in front of the entrance of Haruka's hole._

_"No ! Makoto... please... I don't want this… Rin-", Haruka begged, his tears starting to flow down his cheek._

_"Shh... Don't cry, Haru... You don't have to think about him. He's cheating on you, doesn't he ? Just imagine how many men he had slept with behind your back. He's in no place to get upset just because you had sex with another guy.", Makoto said gently, wiping away Haruka's tears._

_Haruka knew that Rin is cheating on him, that Rin had slept with lots of different males for his part time job before but that doesn't mean that he should do the same to Rin. Rin wasn't wrong. He just did that dirty work for his family's sake_ _－_ _they needed the money fast by that time. With his mother needing for an immediate treatment and his sister needing money for her college study, Rin just needed something with a high pay and fast. He was so desperate and Haruka couldn't blame him for what he did. He just disappointed that Rin didn't tell him about it, that Rin didn't try to figure a better way to solve his problem together with him and the most disappointing thing is Rin didn't ask for his help._

_"Even so… I can't… I can't do this... I am Rin's…"_

_Makoto turned silent upon hearing those words; his heart is aching like crazy. Of all people, why did Haruka choose to be with a jerk who doesn't know how to appreciate his kindness, can shamelessly having sex with someone else when he has someone so loyal to him waiting at home and can lie to him when he has someone so faithful right beside him? He didn't get it at all. Since the first time Haruka had introduced Rin to him, Makoto had this feeling saying that Haruka won't be happy living with him. Maybe it was just his jealousy but what happened after Haruka started to be in an official relationship with Rin was exactly as he thought._

_"Why is it so hard for you to leave him ?! Why is it so hard for you to accept me ?! What do I lack compared to him ?!"_

_"This conversation again ?! We agreed to stop talking about this, Makoto !"_

_"No. It won't stop just like that, Haru. Not until you leave that jerk.", Makoto said, his voice full of hatred._

_"Makoto… please… You're not someone like this…"_

_"No… this is exactly who I am…"_

_"W-What ?", Haruka asked, trying to make sure what exactly did the brunet just said even though he clearly heard it – he just couldn't believe what Makoto had said. 'I have to do something !', Haruka thought, looking at his surroundings and found an open space for him to slip away while Makoto is still lowering his guard. He lifted one of his legs fast then hit the brunet as hard as he could, causing him to fall down from the couch. Haruka took his chance to run away but his effort to get up with his hands tied up on his back took most of the time he's using to run away. His adrenaline rush had slow down his plan as it made his limbs felt shaky and weak. Makoto managed to pull one of his legs before he started to walk away any further, resulting the raven-haired male to fall down hard on the cold floor._

_"Where are you going, Haru ?", Makoto said, pulling the light swimmer towards him, not caring about the pain that Haruka felt when his sticky bare skin trailed forcefully against the floor._

_"M-Makoto ! Please ! Let me go !", Haruka shouted, crying while trying to kick the hands that are holding his legs._

_Makoto ignored the kicks. After all, those kicks are getting weaker by time that it felt like a kid's kicks to him. As Haruka's body came close to his body, he immediately hold Haruka's hips firm then took his position, ready to fuck the smaller male who is panting of exhaustion on the floor._

_"Ah ! M-Makoto ! Stop !", Haruka shouted as Makoto's big dick started to force itself to get inside his hole. It hurt so much since it was bigger than what he usually took and Makoto didn't even care to prepare him before penetrating it inside. Makoto made another sharp thrust and this time, all of his length has made all its way inside Haruka. The blue-eyed male gasped as he felt the pain. He couldn't take it; tears starting to stream endlessly from his tear glands._

_"Haru-chan's... so tight...", Makoto said in satisfaction, moving in and out of Haruka in a fast pace, his eyes are glazed with lust. No matter how many times Haruka had screamed in pain, Makoto didn't seem to care. He called his name, pleading him to stop but his actions were useless._

_"M-Makoto... Ha... H-hurts...", Haruka tried to talk even though he's getting weaker. He couldn't hold on any longer. He could feel the blood starting to leak out of him. "Please... Stop..."_

_The person on top of him right now had turned from a gentle human to a beast. He couldn't do anything to stop the hungry beast from devouring his body. His sight had become blurry as the time pass. The only thing he had remembered before passing out was his mind saying, 'Rin... Help...' ._

* * *

_Makoto woke up the next morning with a strong headache and pain on some parts of his body. He couldn't really register what happened last night. The only thing he remembered was he went to a birthday party and got drunk then kind of dreaming about going to Haruka's house. He opened his heavy eyes, observing his surroundings and found out that he's really in his best friend's house, naked. He stood up from the floor, wobbling as he still feel groggy then stopped as he stumbled upon an object on the floor. His eyes widened as he saw that it was actually Haruka, lying in a fetal position with his hands tied using a belt – his body was full of bruises. He could see some blood trails on the floor and he could hear some soft sobs coming from the body._

_'What happened ?', Makoto thought, trying to recall his memories. As they finally came across his mind, they hit him like the bullets – he had sex with Haruka against his will last night. He immediately released Haruka's hands from the tight belt that was wrapping them. "H-Haru… A-Are you okay ?", he asked, but Haruka didn't give him any reply. He just sits up then hugged his knees, burying his face in them. Makoto then decided to rub his back, trying to sooth the crying male._

_"Don't touch me !", he yelled, staring at Makoto with his red puffy eyes. His eyes is full of feelings; anger, disappointment and guilt._

_"H-Haru, I-"_

_"Just get your fucking ass out of my house ! Now !", Haruka yelled again, even louder than before._

* * *

Makoto gripped Haruka's hand stronger as he remembered what he had done to him before. He didn't blame Haruka for what he said or did to him after the incident and he's thankful enough that Haruka didn't tell the police about that. He wouldn't know how to face his family if he was caught with rape charged on him. Makoto felt so stupid that he let his lust and his anger to take control of him and break his own best friend. "Haru… Please wake up… Let me apologize properly…", Makoto muttered, then kissed Haruka's hand. He wished that Haruka would wake up soon but still, from his selfish side of his heart, he's wishing that Haruka would forget all about Rin so that he could start his life anew without that crimson-haired guy. Up until now, Makoto still hasn't approved Rin as Haruka's husband - he would never. 


End file.
